What will be shall be

Lovers' tiff

I always think it's very interesting to see a couple having a tiff with each other, especially a cold war. Not that I'm a sadist, but it's really interesting to look at the body language portrayed by the couple. You know the kind of expression that says I-don't-really-care-but-actually-I-do.

Just the other day I was in the lift when a couple followed in behind. I stood in the middle away from the door while the couple took a side each. The man was holding a can of beer and looking down at the ground and looked very glum while the lady was looking at him with red, accusing eyes. I assumed the red eyes came from the results of crying.

Not a word was spoken between them and the atmosphere was stagnant. I felt extremely awkward and just looked at the floor, acting as if I saw nothing. It was the longest 30 seconds of my life.

I believe that a cold war is always more scary than an actual war where both sides start to scream and hurl abuse at each other. At least both parties get to thrash things out and express their feelings at whatever they are unhappy at. The silent treatment is the worst type which normally happens when one side has already given up hope on the other.

When I was in secondary school, I once encountered another similiar situation on a bus as well. A girl came abroad(the second level) in tears and sat right in front of me. The guy slowly came in from behind and sat 3 seats away from the girl. The guy would turn round occasionally and looked at the girl with a guilty look on his face but throughout the journey before I alighted, the guy never once came over to the girl.

I was actually quite tempted to offer the girl a tissue but decided not to eventually. Reason one was I did not have one with me then and the second reason was the guy has a size of a body-builder. I was only 16, young and innocent and grew up with the spirit of a typical Singaporean - that is to mind your own bloody business. Things might turn really bloody if I don't.

But the worst type of tiff that can happen to a third party as in me like in the above 2 cases, is the one by a couple who are both your friends. The only solution is to act blur and walk off as far as possible so that you will not be forced to take sides. Or perhaps I should record a video of them to show them how silly they look.

My recommendation is if there is really a need to quarrel, it would be better if you all do it behind closed doors so as not to implicate innocent parties like me. It might result in an emotional scar in my pure and innocent heart.

posted by malmoncolo @ 2:56 AM 1 comments

Of loneliness and Despair

How do you define loneliness? she asked.

I guess loneliness is when you feel so emotionally down and full of despair and wanting to have someone to relate and talk to and when you scroll down your phone list and realise.. you don't have that somebody whom you can call. I replied.

Ha. Maybe that is as close as you can get. So what do you do when you are in that kind of mood? Anyone to call?

Nah. I don't really think so. I guess I'm lonely too. I guess I'm more of that type of person people will call than being the one to call. I'm not really that type to take initiative.

But it seems you are always surrounded by company. I think you don't really have much of a chance to feel lonely. Haha.

But I'm human too, ok? Haha. But I think I am more than capable of dealing with my own emotions. You? How you do deal with your emotions? Got that somebody to call?

Nah. Don't have. But I am not really that comfortable to call someone and talk about my feelings. Normally I will just indulge myself in my daily chores and forget about any loneliness or despair felt. I'm like you too. A listening ear rather than the 'victim'. Haha. And I'm a good listening ear too. So next time when you feel despair you should know who to call. She grinned.

Yah. Of course. I replied. I will call those 1800-chatlines and talk to those sweet little things as advertised to drive away my loneliness. Hopefully they are worth my money.

posted by malmoncolo @ 9:02 PM 0 comments