Monday, April 23, 2007

Depression blues

The reason why I have not been blogging for such a long time is because I have been battling with depression. It got so bad that I was thinking of suicide, but later changed my mind as I don't want to die a virgin. That will be such a shame.

Depression No.1
I have been jinxed recently. All the bets I placed in soccer all turn to dust. All of them. I will be filing for bankruptcy in the near future if this continues.
Depression Rating: 4/5

Depression No.2
The parliment has recently announced a $50 increment for all NSF regardless of ranks from July onwards. $50? I would rather pay them to let me ORD earlier. $50 in increment is all they are giving us for working like a dog for them. I think a real dog leads a better life than I do.
Depression Rating: 3/5

Depression No.3
I am facing very low morale issues recently. I am finding it very hard to be motivated during work. I will book in, smoke, shit and kiwi my boots and repeat the whole process 3 times until someone kick my arse and ask me to get to work.
Depression Rating: 4/5

Depression No.4
My TV has given up on me. The image is always in black and white whenever I play DVDs. The only movie I can watch is Sin City and I am sick and tired of that movie already.
Depression Rating: 3/5

Depression No.5
I was very deeply affected by the recent killing spree at Virginia Tech by a South Korean. I read the interviews by the survivors and friends of those who were killed and was saddened by the number of innocent lives lost to a mad man. I was so affected that I dropped the idea of going to my camp and start killing everyone I see. An idea which I have harboured long long ago.
Depression Rating: 4/5

Depression No.6
Whenever I feel the blues, I will go on an eating binge. When I go on a binge, I will feel lazy and refuse to work out. When I go on a binge and feel lazy and don't work out, I will put on a lot of weight. When I go on a binge and feel lazy and don't work out and put on a lot of weight, I will feel the blues. It's a vicious cycle and one which I don't know how to stop.
Depression Rating: 5/5