Robert Head
I have always prided myself to be careful with my money and have seldom bought anything that is not necessary. But somehow, I don't know why I am always victims of near-scams or dishonest peddlars.
I think it's either I am very kind face and nature or my face tells people 'come-and-con-me because-I-am-very-naive'. I hope it is the former. At least I feel better.
Below are a few classic cases:
- I was almost duped into joining a business venture by an old friend and I almost lost 10k. The details I shall not go into because it is going to be very lengthy. Summary is that this bastard came up to me with a business proposal and asked me to invest 10k in it. It was only after much probing when I realized that he is seriously in debt and needed money urgently. He then confessed that this was a scam and hoped that I can help him by lending him the money. I asked him to fuck off.
- I went Pasar Malam and bought goreng pisang for 3 for $1. Reasonable right? I went further down and saw another stall selling for 4 for $1. Another one nearby was selling for 9 for $2. When I walked back to the stall where I bought my food, they are now selling for 4 for $1.
- I once bought Chup Cai Rice (Vegetable Rice) for $5.20 in a coffee shop. I only ordered 2 meat and 1 vegetable. When I asked the hawker why it was so expensive, he told me one of the meat I ordered was Shark meat. Shark meat in coffee shop?? I supposed the next time I order coffee they are going to charge me $10 because the coffee beans were from Brazil.
- Every time when we were in a group - let's say we are sitting down in a coffee shop, there will be touters who will approach our table to ask for donations or sell some weird stuff. I am always the first they will approach. Always. I really think I have a kind face.
- I have bad debts of over $1000 that can't be recovered. Either these former friends have run away or they tell me they really don't have money to pay me back. I contemplated putting pig head on their door, but that will incur a charge on my part.
I think perhaps I should change my name to Robert. This name would be closer to the heart.
Rendezvous
As the plane descended on the destination called home, she suddenly let go of his hand. It took him by surprise for a moment but not long. He had sort of expected this, despite hope against hope that it will not be over so soon.
"So this is it. We are home." she said.
The dreaded words that he had not wanted to hear."We will go back to our lives. And we will remain as good friends. Just like in the beginning," she said in a cool tone, turning away.
As much as how he wanted to think otherwise, he knew that this is the arrangement or rather, the pre-arrangement. He knows that this rendezvous will be over once they touched home.
He has seen it all coming.
But what he did not see, was her brimmed up eyes and the lone streak of tears that was rolling down her right cheek.
My face is very 'chao'
A colleague remarked to me that when I don't smile, my face is very 'chao' (smelly) and unapproachable. She doesn't know that I actually have good reasons not to smile too often in office.
A 'chao' face is very useful in the office, especially when I am sitting in front of my computer with my face all 'chao' up, people will think I am busy with something and try not to disturb me. Even if I am actually busy chatting with somebody on MSN. Works every time.
Even my boss will refrain from shooting arrows at me. But he is a smart guy. Instead of talking to me face-to-face, he will send me lengthly emails, including a receipt so that I will have no excuses that I have not read his mails. The guy who invented emails ought to be shot, execution-style.
A 'chao' face makes people think twice before they want to screw around with me. All I have to do is to look up at that person and said,"what" in a very cool tone, pretending that I did not hear what he/she wanted. Most people will just back away, making me not a very popular figure in the office.
Trust me, this is essential in my workplace because if you are too obliging, you will find yourself doing a lot of labour work like collecting boxes of paper from the logistic department or moving furnitures from office to office. So it's best to put up a 'chao' face so that people will not think of you immediately when they need labourers.
I then asked this female colleague whether she will accept my invitation for a date if I smile more often, putting up my most 'sunshine' face. She took a glance at my face and muttered softly," You look better when you are not smiling", and left my room.
I guessed she has figured out the real reason why I seldom smile.
