Got car, more luck?
A couple of friends and I were having supper and chit-chatting at the West Coast area when we realized a trend. Out of every 10 cars that pulled up at the parking spaces driven by a man, around 9 have girls in it (the odd one without a girl is a gay I suppose).
Furthermore all the girls who sat as passengers are mostly chio-bus. As for the guy driving the car, well.....
These rich brats have taken all the ladies. What's left for us? I don't really blame the girls. Suppose you are a girl and some guy tries to impress you, which one would you prefer?
A) Hey girl, tonight we go for dinner and then movie ok? I will pick you up down your block at 6pm.
Or:
B) Hey girl, I meet you at Orchard Mrt station at 5pm so that we can avoid the rush. Then we will have dinner and then a movie. The movie will end around 11.30pm after which we will try to take the last train home. Midnight cab too expensive liao....
If you drive a car, who cares about the midnight charge? That is perhaps why some girls always say looks doesn't matter,
got car and money can liao.... Of course I am not saying all girls are materialistic but apparently guys who drive seem to have the better luck.While these brats are busy driving the girls round, I am still debating to myself when it's the best time to go get a car license. Should I go for it when I am nearer to my ORD date? Or do it right now? But then again by the time I get a license and is able to afford a car, all the girls would have gone liao. The only way is to go one up better. Get something that is more impressive than driving a car.
I wonder how much it costs to owe a helicopter in Singapore.
Signs
Signs that you are getting old
1) Kids already start to address you as uncle.
2) You prefer to listen to FM 958 rather than FM 933.
3) You look at the teenagers nowadays and shake your head.
4) You are more concerned about your bank account rather than the women on the street.
5) You talk about the fun you had in Secondary school and realise that was almost 6 years ago.
6) Your peers ask you why you so late then come in army.
7) You are no longer as active as before and feel tired easily.
8) Some of your friends are already married and some even have children already.
9) The last and perhaps the saddest or happiest depending on how you look at it, you are attending more and more weddings and funerals every year.
The woes and blues of a 50 year-old man
Dear Government,
I am a 50 year old man living in the eastern part of Singapore. Recently I have been very troubled. I feel that that is a conspiracy going on targeted at men of my age.
At the recent Election, I and a few of my friends have pledged our alliance to the PAP by voting for them. The main reason for that was because of the progress package that we received. We were touched that the Government had decided to take out some money from the national treasury and RETURN a bit of it to us (take note: They return us some money. Not give us some money). The bit of money certainly helps. With the World Cup approaching, we certainly could do with some extra money for betting.
However, I realized some drastic changes after the GE. Shortly after the GE, the Government announced that with effect from 1st July, smoking will be banned in most parts of a coffeeshop. Only around 10 to 20% of a coffeeshop will be allocated as smoking area. That brings back memories of me in the ARMY around 30 years ago. It's like smoking inside a yellow box back then.
My friends and I used to hang out in a coffeeshop drinking beer and smoking, talking about everything under the sun. Nowadays, when I call them out for a beer, they usually replied,"For what? Cannot smoke leh." And he's right. With the majority of people who frequents a coffeeshop being smokers, the chances of getting one 'smokable' table is difficult. Furthermore, smoking and drinking beer comes together, very much like soya bean milk and
you tiao. By taking one away, something seems amiss.
You may argue that if one wants to smoke, he or she can go inside the yellow box. But trust me, the image of 9 to 10 middle-aged uncles cramping inside a small box to smoke is a hilarious sight. It seems like being punished by a teacher in school and asked to stand outside the class.
To top things up, the Government has raised the price of cigarettes once again- from $11 to $11.20 per pack. It is certainly comforting to see the younger generation unable to afford the price of poison sticks. My 20-year-old son told me that none of his friends are smokers because of the price and of course, my son couldn't afford it too due to me cutting his pocket money so as to keep up with my expensive habit.
A pack used to cost $1 plus only back when I was young. Now it has escalated to more than 10 times the price. Quit smoking? Do you know that people actually die after quitting the poison sticks suddenly? To people like us, cigarettes are not toxic. They are our tonic.
But oh. I definitely welcome the hike in price for taxi fares. I feel that Taxi drivers deserve to get paid more. Why? Because they work for such long hours, mostly up to 12 hours per shift. Furthermore, the oil price has gone up too, increasing their financial burden. People who could afford to take a cab certainly could afford the additional 10 cents and $1 extra surcharge. So you see, I am not that type to complain about everything. When credits are due, I usually give them so keep it up. And by the way, I drive a Taxi.
And then the stricter rules imposed on a massage parlor. It's one of me and my peers' monthly highlight to visit the massage parlor. Now the rules state that there are to be no enclosed rooms and only Singaporeans, PRs and Malaysians are allowed to work in a massage parlor. My xiao-cui, xiao-hua and xiao-lian have all been deported back to China and I will miss their touches....
Slowly but surely, various forms of our entertainment have been taken away from us. I don't want to be reduced to a boring old fart sitting in a Community Centre and play chess all day long. I want my beer and fags. I want my cheap cigarettes. I want my xiao-cui, xiao-hua and xiao-lian. Please give them all back to me.
Love,
50 year-old man
Editor's note: Malmoncolo would like to stress that he is merely lending a space for this dirty old man to voice out his concerns and he has nothing to do with the contents above. After all, Malmoncolo is still a charming 23 year-old man, not a 50 year-old dirty old man.
Random mumblings
I apologize for the lack of updates. For the past 2 weeks or so I have been caught in the World Cup fever and have been sleeping for less than 5 hours every night, which explains why my friends have commented that I looked like a walking zombie. My eyes only will lit up when I see the gambling odds for the day's matches and of course, lunch time.
It's getting increasingly hard to maintain a blog. Many blogs which I have been reading all this while have either announced its closure or had not been updated for a zillion years. While I have been trying pretty hard to update it once a week, however, sometimes the inspiration just doesn't come.
Of course, I am not going to close this blog down again (I did close it somewhere last October) because this blog is a store for many of my memories. And this blog also offers a place for me to write all my nonsensical bullshit like my entries on
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/06/real-story-of-dragon-boat-festival.html and
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2005/07/romeo-and-julietalmost-true-love-story.html.
It has been great fun.
Movie Review
I watched Superman last week. To be honest, it wasn't as good as I thought. I had expected more actions as what this type of superheroes movie should have. My opinions could be biased because I was never fascinated by the Superman cartoon when I was young. He was never my hero - my type of hero will be never be one who likes to wear his underwear on the outside and it's a red one somemore.
Superman is lucky that he doesn't live in Singapore. It would have been very hard to find a telephone booth to change into his suit. With the type of various filming technologies available in a handphone, he could have been caught on video changing at one of the void decks. His video of him being caught with his pants down would have been circulated around and perhaps this time he will leave the earth for good in shame instead of coming back 5 years later as in the movie.
And also with the temperature in Singapore soaring up to 34 degrees Celsius, no man can walk around wearing an underwear beneath, a plastic suit as the first layer, another underwear on the outside and cilvillian wear concealing the suit- not even Superman himself. Before he could take off on his rescue mission, he would have died of dehydration.
In my opinion, the movie
pales in terms of storyline compared to 2 other more recent superhero movies SPIDERMAN 2 and BATMAN BEGINS . However, with the recent quality of movies coming out, SUPERMAN RETURNS could just be the only movie worth watching.
Ratings: 7/10
