Gift
One of the things I hated most is being tasked to buy a birthday present for a girl by my group of friends. It's not the hassle of specially going to buy or having to pay first but rather my incapability of choosing things for a girl. Throughout my 24 years of manhood I suppose the number of times I have bought something for a girl can be calculated by one hand. As for all my ex-girlfriends it's more of them telling me what they want and then me buying it on the spot. No surprises, no gimmicks, no nothing. I'm a boring boyfriend really.
And my dear friends, despite knowing my this handicap, had to ask me to buy the present for this upcoming birthday girl. "You are the most free person this week liao. The rest of us have to work leh. You whole week on off mah," they said. Then I truly have got no excuses to offer. The lesson learnt is to never reveal your off days in the future.
It used to be so much easier in the past. Any soft toy would have done the job. But people do grow up. Soft toys are only for 18 and below. I cracked my brain but still couldn't come up with a solution on what to give for a 23 year old girl. I needed advice.
I called up a couple of my girl-friends for help and they recommended stuffs like jewellery, perfume and handbags. But the problem was that I might choose something which was not to the girl's liking due to the differences in tastes. And I have a proven track record in that aspect, sad to say.
I spent nearly an hour walking round Plaza Singapura and it appeared fruitless. Nothing seemed to be suitable. Either the price is wrong or I know she wouldn't like something like that. I was desperate and already thinking of calling her up personally to ask her what she wants for her birthday.
I decided to give the calling help-line one more try. Perhaps my sister will be able to help as she always help to celebrate other people's birthdays. And the advice she gave me was the best ever, solving this problem I have once and for all.
"Buy voucher la! Easiest liao. Get a $100 or $200 voucher for her so that she can come and shop for the things she like herself. Better for both parties mah!"
And so, in the future when it's your birthday and you know that I am getting your present, don't expect a surprise. Your present is going to come in the form of an envelope, no doubt about it.
And they lived happily ever after
I have never liked fairy tales since I was a kid because I think they are unrealistic and will never happen in real life. The one sentence which I hated the most was 'And they lived happily ever after'.
I believed that the writers of these beautiful endings are polluting the minds of little children, making them believe that they have the potential to be little princesses and some of them still do today (
look at the number of girls who proclaimed themselves to be princess online...princess Jenny, princess Kimberly etc etc...). The biggest offence is letting little children believe that they can feed and survive on love and everyone will marry a prince someday.
I wondered how sure these writers are when they say 'And they lived happily ever after'. Remember how the prince and Cinderella only know each other for less than 3 days. What if the prince turns out to be a womanizer? Or if Cinderella happens to have bad breath? What if they have a character clash? Who gets up in the middle of the night when the baby starts to cry? And Cinderella being just a maid in her household and now married to a prince, how well-received will she be in the palace?
Snow white's story is even more ridicuious. Snow white if you recall, ate the poison apple and fell into a deep sleep and could not wake up. She was kissed and saved by a prince who happened to pass by and
they married and live happily ever after. What if the one who was on the horse was a pirate or a robber? So coincidence the prince of all people rode through the forest and saw Snow white and kissed her? Even if that is so then the prince must be a chee kok pek. How can you kiss someone you don't know on your first time? First time meet already kiss liao..2nd time I think he makes her pregnant already.
This is again bad education information for the little girls. Imagine one day a stranger approaches a little girl and wants a kiss from the girl.
Girl: No! How can you kiss me?
Stranger: I am a prince.
Girl: Really?
Stranger: Yah. Remember Snow White and the 7 dwarfs. She kissed a prince and they lived happily ever after.
Girl: Oh ya. Ok. Kiss me bah.
We must remember kids' minds are like a sponge in water. They absorb anything that comes their way. Fairy tales is the reason why there are so many child-molesters case victims. In my opinion, all the fairy tale books should be burnt or buried to ensure that such tragic cases will never happen again.
Another option will be to change the ending of the story and release a new edition. If I were the writer, the ending will be:
'
And they were about to get married until Snow White realized how wrong it was for the prince to come and kiss her without even knowing her name. Furthermore his identiy was still unknown. What if he was the prince of a mob gang? Snow white then turned down his hand for marriage and filed a suit case against the prince for outrage of modesty. With the compensation she received, she was able to stop working and retired'.That would have been a more realistic ending and also ensured that little girls will not pick up the wrong message. Well, then what about love you may ask since all fairy tales characters must have someone to marry in order to have a complete and blissful life.
'Well, in the end she married all 7 dwarfs and they all lived happily ever after'.
