What will be shall be

The saddest day of my life

26th of May. One of the saddest day of my life. The day where my favorite outlet of all time, Singapore Pools at Jurong West market has announced its closure to an unknown date. I am also not sure whether its temporary or permanent. The notice pasted on its door never stated clearly. That place has given me so many lovely memories. Now the next nearest pools outlet is almost 20 minutes away from me.

It is almost impossible that the particular outlet is not making any money. In fact, other than the one at Jurong point, I believed that this is the next busiest outlet if you compare to the others. My guess is they are shifting to a bigger location maybe in another place at the market. Whatever it is, it never gives us a proper explanation. As one of its biggest fan. there is no doubt about how hurt I actually am.

Hence I have decided to write a letter to the Government indicating my desire to take over this outlet. It will undergo a new revolution and I will ensure that the place will be even much busier than before.


Dear Government,
Following the closure of the Singapore Pools outlet at the Jurong West market, I felt that our Jurong has lost some flavor as that used to be such a distinguished landmark in Jurong.

Imagine Sentosa without the merlion. Or church city harvest without the babes. You do get my idea, don't you? Whenever friends ask where I live, no matter how much I explained to them, they just don't seem to know where I am referring to. But the moment I mention that very busy Singapore Pools, they will go," orh...there ar...".

Now whenever I walked past that Pools outlet that is already no more, I will always give a sigh of regret. And it's not just me. A couple of days ago, I saw a middle-aged man crying uncontrollably outside the outlet. His friends had to drag him away as he was making such a spectacle. To him, it seemed that something close to his heart had been taken away and I do share his sentiments. Saturdays and Sundays will never be the same again without the operation of the Singapore Pools. Especially that outlet.

And so, my suggestion to you is that we should re-open that place and better still, buy over the space right beside the shop where a printing shop stands. That particular printing shop doesn't even have a tenth of the customers that frequent Singapore Pools. By buying over that space, we customers will not need to cramp in the small but cosy space in the Singapore Pools.

Also, in order to get back the old customers or even attract new customers, there must be a new revolution. We need a capable leader, someone worthly and respectable enough to lead the Pools to even greater heights. That someone must be born locally in Jurong, intelligent and also must be very familiar with the working operations of the Pools. He must also be someone who has always been donating regularly to the Pools income.

Sir, no one else fits the criteria more fittingly other than Yours Truely. Yes, I am a local boy who is more than willingly to share this pleasant burden with you and I am sure that with your money and my intelligence, we will make a perfect team. Of course, I am not 'all talks and no walk". Below is my new proposal for the 'new' Singapore Pools. I am sure that sooner or later, all the other outlets will start to emulate us and we will be the standard bearer.

First of all, coming to Singapore Pools shouldn't be just for gambling. We must create a cosy ambience that will make the customer's stay pleasant. The longer they stay, the more betting slips they will draw. The more they draw, the more we earn. It's a simple theory really. There shall be new themes everyday.

For example, Monday will be ladies' night, whereby ladies visiting us on Mondays will be entitled to a free drink and with every purchase up to a $1000 dollars, she will be given a quick pick 4D number on the house. Men's night will be the same as well.

Wednesday will be Mambo night. There will be loud music non-stop and each and everyone is encouraged to dance his or her way to the ticket counter to purchase his or her ticket. People who are sporting enough will be announced our prom queen or king and his prize will be a carton full of betting slips. Now you won't need to snatch with the others. All you need is to draw your choice at home and then come to the counter straightaway for your purchase.

Thursday can be uniform night. Models will be engaged wearing all types of uniforms of your fantasy and will accompany you as you queue up for your purchases. Believe me, you will wish that the queue never ends.

Friday shall be the day where you can come with the tickets which you have lost money on and if the amount lost totalled up to $5000, you can exchange for a free meal at the nearest kopi-tiam right at the corner. See, those slips of paper will not just be known as betting slips anymore. They are now also known as dining vouchers.

Of course, we will have VIP cards for the high-rollers. These VIPs will be entitled to free buffet right in our outlet while they queue for their purchases. There will also be stamps which work the same way as bubble tea do the last time. On the 10th purchase, you will be entered into the monthly lucky draw whereby the winner will win a fablous prize of 2 cartons of betting slips.

Yes, sir, I can feel your excitement even when I am writing this. Without a doubt, with me at the helm, Singapore Pools will never be the same again. I await your approval and hope for the chance where we shall meet and discuss the finer details of my proposal. I will be waiting for your reply.

Yours Truely,
Malmon Colo

posted by malmoncolo @ 6:12 AM