What will be shall be

10 reasons why I would love to live in Ancient China

I would love to live in ancient china because...

1) I don't have to work. As long as I know martial arts, money or taels of silver will somehow appear in my sleeves. At least that is what I see in all chinese movies featuring heroes. They don't have to work but somehow their money will never run out.

2) I can fly.

3) I can use money to buy an official post.

4) I love classic beauties. I refer to those types that are the 'gu liang' type. Those are my favorite.

5) I can take on concubines without converting to muslim. I heard that circumcising is a painful process.

6) I don't have to shave nor cut my hair. I can look like a wildman all I want because it seems to be the 'in' thing then. In fact all swordsmen look like that.

7) I can carry my weapon anyway I go without being stopped by police. Or rather constables.

8) I can meet old friends everywhere I go. Contrary to belief, China is actually a very small place. From all ancient China movies, no matter where they go, they just seem to bump into each other. I am not so enthusiastic about meeting my foes though.

9) I can kill anyone whom I don't like without being charged by the law. Apparently, the cells in ancient times are only used to hold those who steal buns on the streets.

10) I don't have to buy newspaper. All I have to do is to go into an inn buy wine and a few dishes and sit down and eavesdrop on other people's conversations and get updated on what's happening in the pugilistic world.

posted by malmoncolo @ 10:26 AM