What will be shall be

Hairy Punter

Seeing how Jk Rowling is making millions (or billions!) with a little boy wizard makes my eyes sore. It's funny to see so many people, old and young alike, getting fascinated with this little fictional character. Credit to the movie people, I believe they couldn't have made a better choice to cast Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter in their movie though they better finish the whole series before our dear Daniel starts to develop tons of chest hair and moustache. Try imagining Harry Potter with a goatee.

I think I also can make millions with my books. I am going to start a new book with a fictional character called Hairy Punter. It's about the life of a football punter who went to the death gallows eventually.

BOOK 1
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE GOAL SCORER'S STONE

Hairy's parents were killed by loan sharks when he was a small boy. The loan sharks couldn't bear to kill this small little boy but left a scar instead - an emotional scar in his heart. From then on, Hairy Punter is always looking for ways to get rich so that he will never be chased by loan sharks in his entire life.

Hairy chances upon a stone - goal scorer's stone that have the full match analysis of the games on TV. He thought he had found a new way to get rich- by punting on football matches!

BOOK 2
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE CHAMBER OF CIGARETTES

Hairy knows he needs to have capital in order to punt to be rich. His 2 friends, Rot and Heroin, an Ah-beng and Ah-lian invite hairy to join them in the smuggling of cigarettes from Malaysia to Singapore. Hairy doesn't smoke, but he knows that this is perhaps the only way to earn money. He blames himself for his lack of education. Since young, he enrolled in card magic school and Magic- the gathering card games school. He should have realised that these 2 skills will never provide him with a future.

But Hairy should also have known that one cannot break the law in Singapore. He was caught one day while smuggling in cigarettes under the magic carpet of his car and was sent to Changi Prison.

BOOK 3
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE PRISONER OF CHANGI

Hairy was sentenced to 6 years jail. Inside he met an old prisoner who had been inside for 20 years. He, like Hairy will be released in 6 years' time. Inside Hairy and the prisoner of Changi starts to plan their future. Both of them have the same interest in punting. One day, the old prisoner came up with an idea. "Instead of us punting, why not become bookies and let other people punt? In the way, we will earn even more money!" Hairy was impressed with the old prisoner's insight and knowledge and acknowledged the old prisoner as his God-father.

BOOK 4
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE COFFEE-SHOP ON FIRE

Hairy and his god-father start their operation at a coffee shop in geyland. For the first few years they were doing well but their phone-call based operations were starting to get replaced by technology in the form of computers. More and more punters prefer to punt through the internet instead of using the biggest telephone network, Lord Vodafone. One day their coffee shop caught fire and they lost everything in a night.

BOOK 5
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE ORDER OF THE COMPUTERS

Hairy and his god-father have decided to move on together with the trend. Since the market demands the use of the internet to punt, they place an order on 6 computers to aid them in their business. Lord Vodafone, unhappy that he had lost one of his biggest client in Hairy and Co, sent one of his men to assassinate Hairy. Hairy's godfather was killed while protecting his beloved god son. Lord Vodafone swears to God that only 1 will survive between Hairy and him.

BOOK 6
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE HALF-PRICED PROMOTION

Hairy knew that Lord Vodafone will come after him sooner or later. He comes up with a promotion to monopolise the whole punting market. He announces that all losing bets will be at half-price. With that almost everyone chooses to punt with Hairy's company. With his new-found power and establishment, Hairy plots to seek revenge by forming a new team.

BOOK 7
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE DEATH GALLOWS

Hairy fulfils Lord Vodafone's prophecy by killing him to avenge his godfather. He is, however caught by the law and charged with illegal bookmaking and murder. He is sent to the gallows, marking the end of the book.
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I believe that this series will be a huge success as it is both entertaining and educational. Perhaps one day it may even be used as a Literature text or for moral education.
The route to being a millionaire is not too far away.

Fret not if you are worried that you may not be able to get a copy. I have already arranged with the publisher to release the books precisely at 7.01am(singapore time) in year 21000. In fact you can already start to pre-order now. Orders are available at all Singapore pools.

posted by malmoncolo @ 11:52 AM