What will be shall be

Fool

2010-10-05T03:46:00.000-07:00

Didn't it occur to you that self-pity is just self-fulfilling your own prophecy? Didn't it occur to you that everything that has happened to you is created by yourself?

The way you whine about everything makes me sick. How you deserve better. How the world is unfair to you. How the world owes you a living. But how? The world was here first. And it doesn't revolve round you. And by the time you find out the harsh truth, it would have been too late.

I shed a tear at your naivety. The tell-tale signs were obvious for all to see. Everything is fair. Equivalent trade. You want something. You work for it. Nothing is free in this world. Everything which you have done - or not done, will result in what you reap today. Surprised? Why the surprise?

I cringed. I despaired. I hate to see someone fail and yet blame someone else for your own failure. You engineered your own failure. Face the consequences yourself. You are old enough to take responsibility for your own self. No house is built on thin air. Do you not see? No! No! You see not how nobody can help you if you don't help yourself. You see not those who actually encourage your pathetic self-pity are not your real friends. Real friends will show you the truth. Not encourage you to wallow in your self-pity.

One day and hopefully that day will come, you will find out you are but a mere pathetic idiot and how everyone has moved ahead and you are still where you were. And when that day comes, you will realize why you are a master of your own fate and how you have brought everything upon yourself. That day will come and I hope it's all not too late for you.

I would love to see you again. See you telling me your story. Telling me how things are. And I would love to see your change. If you have.

You...you are a fool.

Moment

2010-08-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

A light fog hung in the air as the first rays of the light shone into our cabin. In the distant, the churning of another train could be heard as our trains passed each other by. The view was greeted by rows and rows of willow trees, swaying and dancing to the rythem of the wind. And right at the background, we can see rows and rows of never ending mountains.

I took a peek at the watch. 6am. I had not slept much that night. My shoulder was numb and I dared not move, for fear of jostling you out of your sleep.

You stirred gently, with half your eye glazing out of the window of our train. Where are we already, you asked.

"I don't know," was my reply. "But I wish for this moment to last forever."

那天

2009-12-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

那天我们谈电影，和以往一样，每当说到你喜欢的东西，你总会淘淘不绝的说得不停。
我们谈了我们现在的生活，你说你现在很快乐，我对我现在的生活也很满意。
我们说起当年的年少无知，说起我们比较年轻时所一起做的无聊事情。
我们聊起对未来的期望和梦想和生活里的点点滴滴。

虽久违了，但好像一切都没改变。我们还是可以象以前的谈笑风生，无所不谈。
十三年了，时间过得好快，你没变。现在的你，还是我以前认识的你。
而我也没变。
我对你的感觉。。也还是一样。

Where did all the Chio-Bu go to?

2009-10-22T21:02:00.000-07:00

I was on the MRT this other day during rush hours and you know about rush hours, where everyone is still half-awake and rushing for any empty seats available. I was unlucky as usual, and I had to stand throughout the whole journey. The only thing that can keep one awake is looking at the pretty OLs on the train.

I turned to the left - no luck.

To the right - Nah.

There were absolutely no eye-candy for me on the train. Everyone looks like a zombie who were forced to wake up and go to work and it makes the mood depressing somewhat. No Chio-bu during rush hour? How can?

Then it dawned on me. Pretty OLs got people to drive them to work. They don't take the MRT anymore. Only losers like me take the MRT.

MRT without chio-bu onboard really makes the world greyer.

The little boy next door

2009-10-19T03:31:00.000-07:00

He had his fist clutched tightly on his report card and was fighting back his tears.

"They say if I don't do well in school, I will be a useless person in the future," he muttered. "And I do not want to be a useless person."

I feel for him because my grades were never fatanstic when I was schooling. I feel for him because I also questioned myself when I was his age.

But the day will come where he will understand that a person's achievements will not rely on just his report card alone. And one day, he will realize that this little worry he is facing today, will be nothing compared to the problems he will face in the future.

"So is it true?"he asked.

"What is?"

"About being a useless person if I don't do well in school."

"Nope, you will grow up to be just fine," was my reply.

Just as I did.

So,smile

2009-09-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

There will come to a stage where everything to you seems like a joke and you realize that you are actually just another clown in life's circus. You laugh on stage and weep to yourself in the make-up room and after some time as you mature, problems that seem big to you then doesn't seem to mean anything now.

And so, you understand whatever it is, the world doesn't stop for you and it certainly doesn't revolve around you and you pick yourself up and move on, learning yet another lesson along the way.

Because life is simply too short to bear grudges and certainly too short to not to have fun. You can have everything in life but you will leave as how you came - with nothing.

Thus, whatever it is, smile. Shit happens, smile. Because every shit that happens is actually yet another learning process. So, smile.

You know you are going to have a bad day when..

2009-09-10T01:47:00.000-07:00

- You suddenly have an urge to go jogging when you wake up and less than halfway through your run, it starts to rain cats and dogs.

- You dress up to go to work and along the pavement, a car suddenly sped past and drenching you in the process.

- You are waiting for a taxi at the roadside and 2 inconsiderate bastards who come later than me walked a bit further down and snatched my cab. I had to wait another 30 minutes before I managed to get one cab. I hope their taxis break down along the expressway.

- You reach the office late and wet and realized you have an appointment waiting for you. I totally clean forgotten the appointment.

- You went for lunch and realized you left your wallet in the office.

This is enough for one day. Obviously someone up there doesn't like me today.:(

Such is Love

2009-09-01T00:39:00.000-07:00

You meet someone new and started as friends
You then explored the possibility of bringing this relationship to more than friends
You started to play guessing games with one another

Does she have the same feelings for me?
Does he like me as well?

Finally you fall in love with each other and started on a relationship
The honeymoon period was sweet
You want to see each other everyday and spend every moment together
Then as time goes by started quarrels and friction
You see ugly things in each other which you do not like
The relationship becomes so stained that being together becomes more of a habit rather than love
You started to wonder how it would be if it were someone else

This is love
Love is such
Such is love

OK

2009-07-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

In the end, everything will be ok.

Because if it is not ok, it is not the end.

Process

2009-07-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

I realized that out of the many beautiful movies I have watched, I can't seem to remember their endings. Especially those beautiful love movies which I really liked, which are also not that many to begin with.

There was one particular movie which I caught on a plane some years back. The title was Before Sunset and I really enjoyed it but just couldn't recall how it ended.

Did he and she get together eventually? Did the movie have a happy ending?

I managed to get a copy of it from the shops and watched it all over again. And of course I didn't spoil the fun by forwarding to the ending of the movie. And then I found out that this movie didn't really have an ending.

There was no indication whether they got together. There was no indication whether Jesse did missed his flight and stayed back in Paris or not. But it didn't matter at all. So what if everything is going to end after the sun sets?

Because it's the process that matters, not the ending.

Twists and Turns

2009-07-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

Like a rat trapped inside the maze looking for the cheese, ramming right into the wall after another turn and one crossroad after another crossroad, giving up would have been an easy option.

A change of environment may be good but I am not prepared to leave everything behind. Perhaps one more turn and one more twist and I should be able to find the right door.

I am down but not out. I am weary but I still can stand. With each fight I understand myself a little more.

I am.... stronger than I thought.

Robert Head

2009-06-17T22:34:00.000-07:00

I have always prided myself to be careful with my money and have seldom bought anything that is not necessary. But somehow, I don't know why I am always victims of near-scams or dishonest peddlars.

I think it's either I am very kind face and nature or my face tells people 'come-and-con-me because-I-am-very-naive'. I hope it is the former. At least I feel better.

Below are a few classic cases:

- I was almost duped into joining a business venture by an old friend and I almost lost 10k. The details I shall not go into because it is going to be very lengthy. Summary is that this bastard came up to me with a business proposal and asked me to invest 10k in it. It was only after much probing when I realized that he is seriously in debt and needed money urgently. He then confessed that this was a scam and hoped that I can help him by lending him the money. I asked him to fuck off.

- I went Pasar Malam and bought goreng pisang for 3 for $1. Reasonable right? I went further down and saw another stall selling for 4 for $1. Another one nearby was selling for 9 for $2. When I walked back to the stall where I bought my food, they are now selling for 4 for $1.

- I once bought Chup Cai Rice (Vegetable Rice) for $5.20 in a coffee shop. I only ordered 2 meat and 1 vegetable. When I asked the hawker why it was so expensive, he told me one of the meat I ordered was Shark meat. Shark meat in coffee shop?? I supposed the next time I order coffee they are going to charge me $10 because the coffee beans were from Brazil.

- Every time when we were in a group - let's say we are sitting down in a coffee shop, there will be touters who will approach our table to ask for donations or sell some weird stuff. I am always the first they will approach. Always. I really think I have a kind face.

- I have bad debts of over $1000 that can't be recovered. Either these former friends have run away or they tell me they really don't have money to pay me back. I contemplated putting pig head on their door, but that will incur a charge on my part.

I think perhaps I should change my name to Robert. This name would be closer to the heart.

Rendezvous

2009-06-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

As the plane descended on the destination called home, she suddenly let go of his hand. It took him by surprise for a moment but not long. He had sort of expected this, despite hope against hope that it will not be over so soon.

"So this is it. We are home." she said.

The dreaded words that he had not wanted to hear.

"We will go back to our lives. And we will remain as good friends. Just like in the beginning," she said in a cool tone, turning away.

As much as how he wanted to think otherwise, he knew that this is the arrangement or rather, the pre-arrangement. He knows that this rendezvous will be over once they touched home.

He has seen it all coming.

But what he did not see, was her brimmed up eyes and the lone streak of tears that was rolling down her right cheek.

My face is very 'chao'

2009-06-03T23:28:00.000-07:00

A colleague remarked to me that when I don't smile, my face is very 'chao' (smelly) and unapproachable. She doesn't know that I actually have good reasons not to smile too often in office.

A 'chao' face is very useful in the office, especially when I am sitting in front of my computer with my face all 'chao' up, people will think I am busy with something and try not to disturb me. Even if I am actually busy chatting with somebody on MSN. Works every time.

Even my boss will refrain from shooting arrows at me. But he is a smart guy. Instead of talking to me face-to-face, he will send me lengthly emails, including a receipt so that I will have no excuses that I have not read his mails. The guy who invented emails ought to be shot, execution-style.

A 'chao' face makes people think twice before they want to screw around with me. All I have to do is to look up at that person and said,"what" in a very cool tone, pretending that I did not hear what he/she wanted. Most people will just back away, making me not a very popular figure in the office.

Trust me, this is essential in my workplace because if you are too obliging, you will find yourself doing a lot of labour work like collecting boxes of paper from the logistic department or moving furnitures from office to office. So it's best to put up a 'chao' face so that people will not think of you immediately when they need labourers.

I then asked this female colleague whether she will accept my invitation for a date if I smile more often, putting up my most 'sunshine' face. She took a glance at my face and muttered softly," You look better when you are not smiling", and left my room.

I guessed she has figured out the real reason why I seldom smile.

I wonder...

2009-05-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

I wonder...since all religions encourage men to be good and to be kind to one another, why are there so many bloodshed in the history caused by religion conflicts?

I wonder...if all religions promote the fact that only if you believe in me and you shall go to heaven..does that mean everyone will either go to Heaven or to Hell?

I wonder...if you are blessed with good health and wealth do you still have time for religion and faith?

I wonder..when people claim that God spoke to them through their mind, is it really God or a sign of mental breakdown?

I wonder..is it because you are unsatisfied with what you have and that is why you turn to religion and pray that you can have more?

I wonder...if all the donations to church were given to more needy aids will there still be hungry children in Africa?

I wonder...is there a difference between faith and obsession?

I wonder...by distinguishing the different religions and practices..by dividing who you are and who you are not..have we forgotten the fundamentals of humanity?

I wonder..is it really worth fighting for opinions that are so abstract?

I wonder..will I be crucified if somebody comes across this entry of mine?

Daddy's Boy

2009-05-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

My Dad was a bit like me - we seldom let our emotions show on our faces, nor do we really say caring words to our loved ones. Things like "be careful", "remember to call back" were words that we seldom hear. However, deep inside, we knew that he cared and even if he was really worried, he would pass it off as a joke.

My mum was the exact opposite - she would nag and nag and sometimes even testing my patience. She would still call me when I was out late, asking when I will be back and my whereabouts - all this despite I am already 26 years old.

On this day where I am setting off for Taiwan for a holiday, my mum was her usual self. "Got bring your toothbrush? Got bring a jacket? Remember to call back home everyday." My Dad was sitting in the living room watching telly not saying anything all this while. "Yah," I said. "All bring liao. Don't worry." And my Mum insisited on escorting me downstairs to flag a taxi with me declining politely. "It's drizzling, I will shelter you with an umbrella," said my mum.

It was then my Dad spoke up,"I will do it", and then proceeded to take an umbrella and opened the door. His actions caught us by surprise, so much so that it was like a command and I couldn't say no.

The taxi came pretty fast and as my father spoke as we were loading the luggage," Have fun but always remember to be careful, especially when you are in foreign land. " And right before he closed the door to my taxi he said," Remember to call back once you touch down. " To which I promised.

Once touched down, I called him and he was back to his macho cool self. "Ok. Just don't bring the swine flu back."

海角七号

2009-04-15T22:56:00.000-07:00

前些日子，和朋友到戏院看了海角七号。这部片在台湾上映时受到很好的评语，同时也在金马奖入围了多项奖项。本来一直以为这是一部爱情故事，所以也一直没有抱着太大的期望。整部电影虽然是以一段发生在60多年前的一个爱情往事做为背景，但大部份的故事其实是很生活话的，讲述的是台湾一个叫恒村的地方。

海角七号感人的地方，不是那寄不出去的七封情书，也不是友子和阿嘉的爱恨情仇。感动到我的，是村里的一些小人物和他们的执着与信念。其中最喜欢和最欣赏的人物就莫归于马拉桑先生。

马拉桑先生

马拉桑是一名推销员，卖的产品是经过从新保装的小米酒。刚开始，对他的印像也不是很好，觉得他很烦，加上他有一张不是很讨喜的脸。他在酒店的大厅里摆了个小摊位，凡是谁经过，他总会不厌其烦的喊道：“马拉桑（米酒的品牌）！”来引起对方的注意，然后向前推销他的产品。

马拉桑在推销的当儿，也经常被人家骂，被指没有骨气，一直想要靠攀关系来推销自己的产品。马拉桑也不气累，即使被骂，他还是一脸笑容，很虚心的接受责备，一心只想把自己的产品发扬光大。这样的精神，渐渐的打动了观众。观众也会在不知不觉当中，默默的为马拉桑打气，希望他能够成功。像这样的小人物的不屈不劳精神，总是很容易受到大家的认同和欣赏。

在他成功的做了他的第一次大买卖时，心中也不禁的为他喝彩。一个人付出多少努力，就会得到多少的回报，这是我一直深信的一个道理。

在忙碌的生活中，或许可以抽出一点时间，去观赏这部电影。也许，你会在电影里的其中一个角色当中，找到一个和你相同的人物。

The Ring

2009-04-15T22:41:00.000-07:00

I am not exactly a very superstitious person although I came from a pretty traditional family. But ever since losing the lucky ring which I put on my last finger, bad things have been happening to me.

Deals were lost; hiccups in everything I do and everyone seems to have an issue with me (am I sensitive or what). I don't seem to feel at peace with myself and I get irritated easily.

Time to source for a replacement to put on my last finger and no, I am not referring to droppings from my nose.

The New Year

2009-01-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

2008 has come and gone like a breeze and here I am wondering how fast that is. I guess when you reach a certain age, time really literally flies.

And as usual, with every new year, it's always time to make some resolutions (to break!) so as to have something to look forward to in the new year. Personally I set a few goals for myself in 2008 and am proud to say that I have achieved each and every one of them.

Then comes the problem in 2009. I have been so occupied in 2008 especially the 1st half with my driving licence, studies and work that I slept only at most 5 hours a day, leaving home early in the morning and reaching home only near midnight. And now with my licence passed, my graduation (short of my final project) and my work more or less established, I suddenly feel empty.

I guess thats the problem with most people. Complain when there are too much things to do, whine also when there is nothing to do. But seriously empitness is a terrible feeling. Especially when you have nothing much to look forward to.

And so, for a resolution for 2009, my wish is to be happy. Just plain happy. And in most instances, happiness comes in the form of money. So, a couple of toto and 4D wins should be enough to instill back the happy boy in me. I am not asking for much, am I?

Quantum of Solace

2008-11-10T20:42:00.000-08:00

You know how bad this movie is when I fell asleep right at the opening scene. Somehow I knew this is a waste of my weekend movie ticket when the opening scene had our 007 involved in a car chase and bullets flying. I never failed to be amazed when you see how many bullet holes resided on the car and how badly the car was smashed up but our dear hero always ends up still in a piece.

The remaining story is pretty much predictable - because there was nothing to predict as our dear hero gets involved with a lot of bullet-whizzing and explosions leaving a trail of destruction behind wherever he goes. The sequel to Casino Royale was a huge let-down with no efforts in character development which we see in Spiderman or Batman. The whole movie becomes a shallow work without substance and I don't like to spend my weekend ticket on such movies.

Our dear 007 was distraught after the betrayal and death of his former flame and sets out on a mission with a deadly personal vengeance. Tough and bo-chup on the outside, he is actually an Emo-boy in the inside. And I don't like the way he tries to hide his feelings and be so cool when he is actually crying and hugging his pillow to sleep every night (I made this up. But I think it's real).

The James Bond I know is supposed to be savue and shags around like nobody's business, not an emo chicken who gets upset over stepping on a cockroach. So much for the ball-smashing in Casino Royale. I hope our dear hero always remember to wear a ball-guard the next time he goes on a mission.

And the last parting shot was one of the corniest I have ever seen. When M asked him when he is coming back, he actually replied,"I never left." Aww...That is so damn bloody emo...and corny. The next thing you know, our emo boy could leave the organization and join the 'Save the animals' organization, as a campaign agent no less.

Conclusion: You have lost your balls, Mr bond. And compensate me for my movie ticket and 2 hours of worthless time.

She knows best

2008-11-02T08:25:00.000-08:00

"You know, someone like you shouldn't be doing sales." My mum said to me one day as I was sitting on the sofa, in a daze somewhat.

"Oh," I was pretty startled when she said that out of the blue. I was sitting on the sofa, thinking of something else - work to be precise. "Why not? And why do you say that suddenly?" I asked.

"I don't know. Just that your character doesn't seem suitable. It's not good for your health and your mental being," she replied.

"Huh? What about my health and my mental being? What has that got to do with my work or my character?" I probed further, totally not understanding what she meant.

"Because you are someone who absolutely hates to lose and you have a very strong competitive streak. You mind too much when things don't go your way. And you worry and think too much. It's not good for your health," she said before leaving me to myself.

Sometimes I don't like it when there are people who can read me like a book - even if it's my own mum. But she's right. I think I should really go a little easy on myself sometimes. After all, a mum knows best, right?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2008-10-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot
The world forgetting by the world forgot
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Each Prayer accepted and each Wish resigned
- ALEXANDER POPE

累了。

2008-10-14T20:04:00.000-07:00

做那么多，做那么辛苦，其实都只是为了吃一口饭。

晴天也好，雨天也好。
舞照跳，歌照唱。

10 reasons why I should not try to lose weight

2008-09-25T23:52:00.000-07:00

1) I don't have many hobbies left and if I take eating out of my life, I am as good as having nothing left.

2) If I'm fat people still can refer me as cute. If I'm thin I will never ever receive any compliments about my looks.

3) Many girls like to tap my tummy. I take that as a sign of friendliness. Take away the tummy and nobody wants to touch me.

4) Nobody likes to sit beside me on public transport because I tend to take up more than half the space. And I like sitting alone on public transport.

5) When I am bored and have nothing to do I like to pull and massage my tummy - It's like playing with plastic clay.

6) Whenever I buy from hawker stalls, hawkers tend to give me a larger share because they believe that the normal share is never enough for me.

7) I have to look fat or people will accuse my mother of ill-treating me.

8) Going for morning jogs in the morning before work makes me tired and also makes me report late for work.

9) I cannot afford to buy new pants or shirts. If I look thin, I will look as if I am wearing a dress instead of a polo-T.

10) I look more like a boss with a tummy. The bigger your tummy is, the more respect you get.

And so I have a Hokkien Face

2008-08-31T08:48:00.000-07:00

I always wonder why many people whom I have met the first time - like hawkers, shop owners or clients always seem to know that I can speak Hokkien and like to converse with me in that dialect.

My generation is the generation that mostly speaks English (not even Mandarin OMG) and not many people of my generation know how to speak Hokkien. But somehow, people seems to always figure out that I know how to speak that language.

For instance, my friend and I were queuing up at a hawker stall to order food. The hawker would ask my friend in English (mostly quite broken anyway) what he wants and when it comes to my turn, I will be asked in Hokkien. And this kind of incidents have happened quite a lot of times.

One fine day I just couldn't bear with it anymore and decided to ask this auntie who sells Hokkien Mee. As usual I was asked by her what I want to order in Hokkien and I responded by asking how she knows I can speak Hokkien.

"Aiya, see your face can know liao lah. You confirm is those not very educated one and always run on the street one la. If not I speak English to you meh?"

Our Hokkien Mee Auntie is very the funny. I am not so amused though.

I just smiled sheepishly as I waited for my Hokkien Mee. I thought that would have been the end of our conversation but she left me a parting shot before I left.

"Somemore you also don't look very young. Uncles your age all can speak Hokkien one mah."

So me = uneducated, run on the streets(hooligans??), old-looking.

You can be damn sure that is the last time I will ever eat her Hokkien Mee again.

About time

2008-08-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

Can you work for somebody who is

1) irresponsible
2) a control freak
3) extremely protective of his own things
4) incompetent
5) super blur
6) lacking in EQ and IQ
7) scared of trouble
8) biased
9) useless but think he is capable
10) self-centered

In the past I never will believe such a person exists. I do now.

And I can't continue to work for somebody of this level.

That's why I believe it's about time.

My Interesting Life

2008-07-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

Crap. I have not updated for quite some time. So here goes.

I woke up with a terrible headache in the morning but have to drag myself off my bed to wash up to go to work. Whole night of movie marathon never fails to give me a headache in the morning.

The MRT was packed as usual and I couldn't get a seat as usual. After a few stops I finally managed to get one and I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep so that I wouldn't need to give up my seat. A few stops later I peeped and saw this old lady looking at me. Crap. She caught me and I have to give up my seat to her. That's the problem with being a gracious gentleman. I had to smile and tell her it's not a problem but it is seriously a big problem.

I had to stand throughout my journey and there wasn't even any eye candy nearby for my eyes to feast on. This is a bad start to the day.

I reached my office much to the disapproval of everybody. I am late as usual. Everyone gave me a dirty look. "Coffee anybody?" I asked and everyone ignored me as usual. My suspicion was right all along. Nobody likes me.

I went lunch alone and ordered vegetable rice. I ordered 2 meat and 1 vegetable and had my rice dipped in curry. I always like my rice with curry. It is very nice. I like the thick type of curry. The watery type is not nice because it is not thick. Thick is nice. I like thick.

By the time I went back to the office everyone was already very busy. Or rather they are pretending to be very busy. "Boss wants to see you," said my colleague. I went in to see him and got a lashing off for reasons which I don't know. The reason why I don't know was because I don't know my work. In the middle of his lashing I let out a loud burp. Rice with curry always produces very good burps. The type of burps that always leave you on cloud nine. I always love to rub my stomach after burping. My boss wasn't very pleased though. But I don't care. Because you cannot stop a burp. Especially a satisfying one.

6 o'clock. I am preparing to knock off from work. My manager suddenly decides to call for a meeting. Everyone groans and I pretend to look happy. As everyone prepares to go for the meeting, I slipped off through the back door. I hastily left and switched off my handphone so that nobody can contact me. I hate meetings.

I reached home at 7 for dinner but there was no dinner. Mama left a note on the fridge - "You are old enough to cook your own dinner." The problem is I don't even know how to fry an egg. I ordered MacDelivery and they arrived in half an hour. I don't have cash with me and whipped out my Nets Card but they don't have the machine.

I am very disappointed in their service and threatened to complaint. He asked me to go ahead but first I will still have to pay him. I have to smash my piggy bank and passed him my entire savings of $6.80 which I have accumulated over 15 years. He is not very amused with my number of 5 cents coin.

After my dinner I went back to my room and locked the door and watched yet again another re-run on my DVD of my favorite movie - Titanic. As usual, I cried but I don't want to let people know and that is why I locked my door. This is my 89th time watching this movie and this is the 89th time I am crying. I have never ever believed in true love until I watched this movie 10 years ago. When will I ever meet my Rose?

I cried myself to sleep as usual tonight and it is fast becoming a habit. Overall, I love my life and think that it is very interesting. The best thing I look forward to is the lunch which I eat everyday and the burp that comes after. After that in the evenings there is the Titanic re-run or sometimes I watched Happy Tree Friends online.

I rate my life 4.8 out of 5. The 0.2 missing is the Rose in my life. Other than that it is perfect. What more can a man want?

1998

2008-06-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

May 1998. I still remembered that day very well. The 3 of us as usual, after school, skipping to one of the HDB blocks opposite the school for a smoke. We were like little rats, under-aged and in school uniforms, hiding on the 2nd floor, in fear of being caught by somebody.

The mood was more sombre than usual. We have just got our exam results and as expected, we did not do well. I was the worst of the trio, scoring less than 30 marks out of a hundred.

We were only 15. But at that age we already understood that if we don't do well in our studies, that is no way we can go far in the future. Our teacher did not mince her words as well - "You are useless fools and keep going on like this you will be drop-outs and from what I see, I am confident this is what is going to happen to you all. So please don't waste your time nor mine."

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"What now?" I questioned but there was no reply. The expressions on the faces say it all. After a few more drags of the cigarette and letting reality sank in I spoke again, "No matter how long it takes and how tough it is I will never drop out. Even if I take a longer time than others."

I wasn't exactly sure when I said all that way back then. But today, looking back all those years, I am glad that I managed to stand by what I said. Even when most have given up on me. Even when it was tougher than I ever thought it will be.

I am glad. Really glad.

Thank You

2008-06-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

"The reason why I still have been hanging around is because of you. You don't know how much of an inspiration you have been to me."

Thank you.

You don't know how much this sentence means to me as well.

How was your day?

2008-06-07T03:46:00.000-07:00

It was a birthday card which I have put away for a long time. A card that had been buried in a heap of other get-well cards, valentine day cards and birthday cards. I was lucky to have lived in that era where cards were commonly exchanged during different occasions.

'Happy Birthday' was the cover letter and its contents were short- "A friend to remember forever". I sat back in my chair and smiled warmly.

We were only 14 years old then.

I put the card carefully back into the drawer together with the other cards. The heap of cards that have been neglected but never forgotten. And it was then I wondered:

How was your day, my old friend?

Quotes & Misquotes

2008-05-30T19:12:00.000-07:00

For many years we have been hearing so many inspirational quotes from the great philosophers and thinkers and majority have been inspired by their sayings - some even to the extent of their lives being changed.

However, as my age progresses, I realized that some of these quotes are just wrong, befitting only for the naive minds. That is why I have always hated philosophers - they just dump a sentence and expect you to grasp the meaning within.

To me they are the most irresponsible beings in the world because they do not offer practical solutions. All they do is to dump you a sentence and if you get it, they do a good deed and if you don't, you are just not wise enough and it's not their fault. Blame yourself for being not intelligent enough to understand.

Let thy words be few - Ecclesiastes 5:2 from Words of Wisdom

This is just a polite way of saying 'please shut up'. It is as good as telling a fat kid that he is not fat. He is just not as thin as the common people.

Children should be seen and not heard - unknown source

And so why is it when a child is just borne out of a mother's womb, the doctor has to give her a few slaps on the buttock cheeks to ensure that she cries? A child is deprived of a normal childhood if he or she is not allowed to speak. It is an irony that when a child is young, he is not allowed to speak. And when he is grown up, he refuses to speak up. By the way, we have a medical term for children who are only seen and not heard. We call it autism.

Seek further up and thou shall find glory - heard it's from the bible

This is one very suggestive quote from the bible of all places. Only 0.000001% of the population will understand the true meaning of this saying. This minority are the holy ones. The majority - people like you and me, the horny ones, will have another meaning for it. The full sentence should be 'Seek further up the skirt and thou shall find glory'.

Reach for the sky because even if you can't, you will reach the clouds - unknown

Yah right. Obviously this smart alec here have not heard of this before - The higher you climb, the harder you fall. So, which one is correct?

Believe in me and thou shall go to heaven - all religions

Apparently all the religions state that if you believe in me you will go to heaven and if you don't you will go to hell. With so many religions around and one can only believe in one religion, it will be safe to say that either everyone will go to heaven or everyone will go to hell.

What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? - Vincent van Gogh

If so life would be a breeze you idiot. Do you have any idea how many people in this world wish that they don't need to attempt anything to achieve something? It has nothing to do with courage. It has got to do with having no choice. I am sure if given a choice, many would have preferred to do nothing at all.

Success is only sweet when one has toiled buckets of sweat and hard work - unknown

There are such things called fatigue and dehydration you know. And they all lead to death. Congratuations on your death.

Experience teaches slowly, and at the cost of mistakes - James A. Froude

Not everyone gets a 2nd chance you know. Trying saying this to your boss after you have committed a mistake that has led to your dismissal.

Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need - Voltaire

When I work i get bored. When I work I get stressed and smoke. When I work I need to get away from it all. Voltaire, you are a liar.

Signs that you are growing (or going to grow) fat

2008-05-23T01:41:00.000-07:00

1) You are getting lesser personal space when you are sharing seats on the public transport.
2) You get cravings every now and then and you never fail to satisfy them regardless the hours.
3) Friends who have not met you a long time goes,"wah..so long never see liao..you ar..." and they are too polite to complete the sentence.
4) Your shirts are getting shorter. And you blame the washing machine.
5) Your friends remark,"Still eat ar?" when you recommend finding a place to eat.
6) Your family pointed to a photo taken long time ago and say things like you used to be thin in the past.
7) People remark that you used to run faster in the past.
8) You need more time to zip up your pants now.
9) You inhale more air when you zip up your pants.
10) The 'Adidas' brand on the T-Shirt are getting clearer with each word being stretched.
11) Your friends push you some brochures regarding gym or yoga classes.
12) You dare not weigh yourself.

I have all the above symptoms. Time to buy a skipping rope.

The Forbidden Movie

2008-05-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy that I have nearly forgotten about the existence of this blog. I apologise yet again for the lack of updates.

I watched 2 movies over the last weekend The Forbidden Kingdom and Definitely Maybe. While Definitely Maybe is one which I will highly recommend, the Forbidden Kingdom should be banned in cinemas and not cheat us of our hard-earned money.

I will not talk much about the story of both movies here as they can be obtained easily on the web. For Definitely Maybe, if you like the movie Love Actually, you will definitely fall in love with Definitely Maybe as well. They are by the same producer. The little girl (Abigail Breslin) in this movie is so cute and perhaps too witty and intelligent for her age. I suspect my future daughter will be the same as well because of her genes.

Definitely Maybe is heart-warming and a delight to watch. The flow of the movie is nice and keeps you in suspense as the daughter tries to figure out who her mother is through the bed-time story which her Dad is telling her towards the end. And of course not forgetting this eye-candy Isla Fisher who possess this x-factor of me wanting to pamper her. It was until later when I learnt that she's already married. To Borat of all people.

This movie Definitely Maybe earns a high 7.5/10 in my list.

Watching Forbidden Kingdom is like watching a painful re-run of Chronicles of Narnia once more. The only difference is the magic wardrobe has been replaced by a magic rod (supposely the weapon used by Sun Wu Kong) and the chosen one is an American teenager rather than a couple of stupid little kids.

I always thought that the chosen ones are always the more glam ones - think Keanu Reeves in the Matrix. However in this forbidden movie, the chosen one is Michael Angarano, who just happens to have such a loser face. And he is also a loser in the movie who is a Chinese Kung-fu franatic who always gets bullied in the school by the school bullies.

This is the 1st time in recent years that I was so tempted to walk out of the cinema mid-way through the show. The only reason I stayed was because I have paid a weekend ticket price for this movie.

Jet-Li and Jackie Chan couldn't save this movie with a poor plot with their martial arts. The setting of this movie is in ancient China and I was astonished to see that everyone can speak English. Even the Great Jade Emperor of the heavenly Skies is conversing in English to all his subjects. Sun-Wu Kong would have gotten an A1 in our O level English as well.

I was certainly expecting more with the combination of both Jet Li and Jackie Chan, however it seems that they are playing second fiddle to Michael Angarano in terms of casting. Given such a plot and story, I honestly doubt that any actors would be able to save this bad movie.

Ratings: 3/10 (1 pt for the aircon, 1 pt for the comfortable chair and 1 pt for Liu-Yi fei)
Yes, its that bad.

During class

2008-03-20T00:57:00.000-07:00

During one of my classes one day...

Lecturer: Ok! Can anyone tell me who invented Spa and from which country?
(and he pointed at me for an answer)

Me: Erm...erm.....spa...spa...SPArtans!!!! The SPArtans invented Spa!

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We were asked to do a SWOT analysis on a particular organization. If you don't know, SWOT analysis refers to Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threat. We were given a piece of paper to jot down our answer.

I was especially tired and uninterested that day.

My answers:
Strength: Very Strong
Weak: Quite weak
Opportunity: Got chance
Threat: A bit threatening

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After so many years I am still that same bag of nonsense. I always thought I am already a changed man. Apparently not.

I am a doctor

2008-03-10T01:10:00.000-07:00

One fine day while in my office working(I work in a private school), this student from China suddenly came in and said she was sick.

This conversation is all in Chinese.

She: Doctor, I am not feeling well.
Me: I am not a doctor.

She: Then where is the doctor? I am really not feeling well and need to see one.
Me: There is no doctor here.

She: How come hospital got no doctor?
Me: This is not a hospital. This is a school.

She: But how come outside the signboard says that this place is a hospital?
Me: Which sign? There is definitely no sign that suggests that this place is a hospital.

She: Come, I show you.

With that, I followed her out of my office to the sign which she was referring to. There was indeed a sign.

The sign reads:
SCHOOL D' HOSPITALITY

It was from that day onwards I understood why the China students in my school always seem to be so polite upon seeing me. They must have thought that I am a doctor who practises in this school.

Maybe I should put another notice round the school informing them that SCHOOL D' HOSPITALITY is NOT equal to HOSPITAL OF THE SCHOOL.

A Good Year

2008-02-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

I know that this post has come ages late. It is already almost march but this post is about my new year resolution. The reason for this late post was because I have been unsure of the direction I want to go.

At the start of the year when I have just ORDed from the dreaded army, I was in a lost state. I was sort of waiting for things to happen and maybe move on together with these events. Somehow I managed to find a job working as a course consultant at a private school and even enrolled for my bachelor degree there, which means to say I will be working and studying at the school.

I didn't realize how hard it was going to be. My job doesn't have a fixed salary and most of my income is based on commission. I have on average 2 exams and 1 assignment to prepare every month. I only get around 5 to 6 hours of sleep every night. As if all these aren't enough, I plan to get my driving licence within half a year.

I live in Jurong, work and study at Kallang and will need to fly down to Bukit Batok for driving on nights when I have no classes. By the time I reach home, I am already very much a dead man.

This year is really going to be a very tough year. But I am determined to finish off what I have started. By end of the year, I plan to complete my degree, build up my career path and of course that driving licence.

I'm relishing the challenges that lie ahead. Bring it on, baby!

Happy V-Day

2008-02-15T20:28:00.000-08:00

And so it was Valentine yesterday with the girls going home happy with flowers and chocolates and the guys feeling more broke than ever. The happiest people are of course the scheming businessmen who are laughing their way to the bank. A stalk of rose originally sold for $2 can go up to $15 per stalk. Just add in some color paper and laces and you can jack up the price even higher.

The origin of Valentine Day is supposely a very romantic one. It was believed that 14th of Feb was a day to remember St.Valentine, who was apparently killed because of a forbidden love or something like that if I am not wrong. I goggled the words 'origin of valentine' and managed to find what I was looking for. However I couldn't finish reading that article because I was puking most of the time.

While many people were touched by the so-called great love of this gentleman, I wasn't very much amused. Shakespear's great work 'Romeo & Juliet' remained as one of the funniest story in my eyes after so many years.

The version I believed in is this. Long ago, a scheming businessman, in a bid to save his faltering flowers & gift business, suddenly came up with this story about St.Valentine and declared the month of February to be a month of love and romance. Valentine day will be a day whereby the guys will buy gifts for their partners to show their undying love for her.

And of course there was a mad rush for presents buying and this scheming businessman jack up the price by a few times and made a huge huge profit along the way. As a result, his business turned from a failing one to one of the biggest around.

Somehow for years, this practice was carried out even until this day. I wouldn't call this day Valentine Day though, Robert-Head Day would have been more apporiate. When this day approaches, I always can see many stupid heads queuing up to buy gifts and flowers and making reservations at some posh restaurants.

Girls on this day will be grinning from ear to ear with flowers in their hands. Along Orchard Road, it is like a mini flower carnival with each lady competing with each other to see who has the bigger and prettier flower and the bigger the flower, the bigger the Robert-head you boyfriend is.

Many people may not realise this. Valentine Day is a day where the love of the boyfriend is not measured. It was a day to measure the stupidity of the male counterparts. The larger the amount paid, the stupider the boyfriend is. According to the unofficical research and findings, guys who tend to spend a bomb on Valentine Day are not reliable husbands because they don't plan in the long run, all they care is making the girlfriend happy on this day.

I am sure that many have heard of this before. Valentine day is also Friendship Day. This also has a story behind it. Once there was a loser who was tired of seeing these couples exchanging gifts and he declared this day to be Friendship Day also. This will be a day where friends will exchange gifts, not just lovers. This, of course delight the scheming businessman too.

That was a pretty smart move by this loser because from that day on, almost everyone has a gift in the hand and no one can distinguish whether these gifts come from lovers or friends. Personally, this year is one of my best Valentine Daysever as I slept at 10 o'clock and I have not slept that well for a long time already.

So, to all ladies,happy valentine day.To the guys, happy robert-head day. And to the singles, happy riendship day.

Perspective

2008-02-04T02:00:00.000-08:00

The schoolboy looked on as the man, who seems to be in his mid-20s boarded the bus. He was in his business shirt and worn a tie smartly, talking on the handphone to a seemingly potential client as he sat opposite the schoolboy. The schoolboy could hear bits and pieces of his conversation, something about prices and quotas.

Their gazes met suddenly and the schoolboy turned away sharply. He had not realized he had been staring at this young man since he boarded the bus. His focus turned to the events that had been happening recently.

The schoolboy could still remember the harsh words from his teacher. It is not the first time he had been warned about his poor academic results. His teacher had warned him repeatly that if his grades continued to be this poor, he might just drop out of school. Even his mother had been equally harsh, always saying how bleak his future will be if this continues.

To the schoolboy, this man is everything he had hoped for in the future. Holding a desk-bound job in an air-con office, wearing smartly at work and talking and negotiating with clients and feeling... important. He knew that this reality is virtually impossible for him. He just has no interest in his studies and had contemplated quitting a couple of times already. Afterall this is not the first time he is repeating his Secondary 3 education. But he knew if he really does quit, there is no way he can compete with the other people in the society in the future.

The schoolboy was so deep in his thoughts that he had not realized that he had reached his stop. He clumsily picked up his books and bag and alighted the bus hurrily.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The young man watched on in amuse as the schoolboy who seemed to be in his daydream suddenly jerked up and ran out of the bus. That was a little something to smile about after a very bad day at work. He had been talking to this very difficult client of his whom had been trying to cut the price initally agreed. On top of that, his boss has been pressurizing him about his sales target this month. The outside world had been much more difficult than he thought.

Watching the schoolboy brought back a lot of his fond memories of when he was still schooling. Although his results have been far from being exceptional, he still did enough to get into a local polytechnic. He remembered having a lot of fun in his school days, the days where he wouldn't need to worry where his next bowl of rice is coming from. The days where no one will be pushing him for results everyday.

True, studying wasn't exactly fun. But it was much better than being a working adult. In fact he had talked about this very often to his peers. How he hoped he could reverse back time and go back to his school days. How he hoped he can escape from this reality he is in now. It would really be fun if he could just switch with that schoolboy for just a day. These memories of his school days immediately brightened up his day. Perhaps, tomorrow will be a better day.

With a smile on his face, he slowly dozed off as the bus continued its journey into the night.

Do you facebook?

2008-01-20T09:10:00.000-08:00

The most common questions that friends ask me nowadays is "Do you Facebook?" In the beginning I wasn't aware what it was and often replied,"No. I prefer to read the book rather than facing it." And as expected they thought I was making a lame joke and ignored me.

However I soon learnt that it was all about and this term was so popular that it is now accepted into the dictionary and has its own meaning. I am not about to jump onto the bandwagon though. The reason is because I have absolutely no time for other forms of distractions while I am working and studying at the same time. Plus these trends only last for a while and when another new technology toy pops up, everyone jumps again. Remember Friendster, wholivesnearyou, ICQ and Mirc?

I have friends who suggested that I join Facebook so that we can chat online. But the problem is we hardly even chat in msn much less sms each other, will it make a difference if we hop onto another tool of communication? I do know Facebook has got many other functions like photo-sharing but why would I want your photos? Lol. Just kidding. It is just me and my rejection for technology. I remembered I had one entry before regarding why I shun technology.

Just a couple of days ago, I accidentally overheard a conversation between 2 friends on the MRT. Friend A was telling Friend B how he stayed up the entire night training his monster from level 6 to level 20 or something like that. And they seem to be in their early twenties already. Aren't monster fighting meant for kids below the age of 16? Hello! Entire night leh! Surely there are better things to do than training monsters?

Another friend was telling me how there are so many pretty girls in Facebook and you can get to know them and even 'buy them drinks' online. But the problem is I seldom trust the photos I see online. The reason is because you can paste any photo you want but you will never know what the person who is typing behind the screen really looks like. Also so many people photoshop nowadays and a 36 inch waistline can become 26 after some cropping and editing.

One conversation between me and a friend sums up everything.

Friend: Got facebook?
Me: Nope. What about it?

Friend: Sign up lah. We can chat online mah.
Me: You can talk to me also in MSN mah.

Friend: Facebook different leh. Got more functions. Can take photos also and play games together.
Me: Photos you just send to my email can liao lor. Why Facebook?

Friend: Aiya. Still can play games somemore mah.
Me: Games like what?

Friend: Erm..we can..we can fight dinosaurs together mah.
Me:.........................

Enough said.

Lost

2007-12-27T05:36:00.000-08:00

31/12/07 has always been the day I have been looking forward to for the past 2 years. I can still remember 2 years ago when I took that dreaded ferry from our island to Tekong. For the past 2 years, all I could look forward to was the day I ORD from the army.

The big day came swiftly, especially the last month of my service and because I was clearing my leave/off, I didn't go back to camp for the most of the month. It's ironic how I have been looking forward to this day so much but yet I felt nothing on that actual day itself. I came into the camp around 9 plus in the morning. A couple of colleagues went past and uttered good luck and went on their way hurriedly after saying they have something urgent to attend to.

I went back to my coy line to pack my stuff and the whole place was already buzzing with activities with the daily routine chores to be done. It was the usual 'good luck and goodbye' stuff in general and life goes on for everybody. It's funny how we have been working and seeing each other for the past 1 year plus and suddenly, there is a high possiblilty that we will not see each other ever again. We have become just another passer-by in each other's life.

I then packed my stuff and collected my pink IC and visited a few of my other friends in other parts of the camp. It was usual stuff all over again and I left the camp and instead of feeling happy as I thought I should, I feel kind of empty inside. For the past 2 years, all I could think of was this day and now that this day has finally come, I realized that I have not really planned anything ahead.

Standing at the gate of the camp with my stuff in tow, my mind was a blank.

So. Where now?

Prophecy

2007-12-11T06:53:00.000-08:00

"I don't think you will last long in this job. In sales you need a lot of determination and preservence. You must be willing to fail and fail and fail," he said.

And I think he's right. I really can't see myself lasting long here.

Where has the usual inner self-belief and confidence gone to?

青花瓷

2007-11-26T09:20:00.000-08:00

青花瓷
素胚勾勒出青花笔锋浓转淡
瓶身描绘的牡丹一如你初妆
冉冉檀香透过窗心事我了然
宣纸上走笔至此搁一半

釉色渲染仕女图韵味被私藏
而你嫣然的一笑如含苞待放
你的美一缕飘散去到我去不了的地方

天青色等烟雨而我在等你
炊烟袅袅升起隔江千万里
在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸
就当我为遇见你伏笔

天青色等烟雨而我在等你
月色被打捞起晕开了结局
如传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽你眼带笑意

色白花青的锦鲤跃然於碗底
临摹宋体落款时却惦记著你
你隐藏在窑烧里千年的秘密
极细腻犹如绣花针落地
帘外芭蕉惹骤雨门环惹铜绿
而我路过那江南小镇惹了你
在泼墨山水画里你从墨色深处被隐去

天青色等烟雨而我在等你
炊烟袅袅升起隔江千万里
在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸
就当我为遇见你伏笔

天青色等烟雨而我在等你
月色被打捞起晕开了结局
如传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽你眼带笑意

This is a new song recorded in Jay Chou's new album written by Vincent Fang also known as 方文山. As usual his writing never fails to amaze me. It's like making a movie with just words and it is of no wonder 方文山 is known as a modern poet. No matter how good your english is, no translation can do this beautiful piece of writing justice. The irony is that such beautiful writing cannot be heard properly through Jay's muffled singing.

10 reasons why I would love to live in Ancient China

2007-11-21T10:26:00.000-08:00

I would love to live in ancient china because...

1) I don't have to work. As long as I know martial arts, money or taels of silver will somehow appear in my sleeves. At least that is what I see in all chinese movies featuring heroes. They don't have to work but somehow their money will never run out.

2) I can fly.

3) I can use money to buy an official post.

4) I love classic beauties. I refer to those types that are the 'gu liang' type. Those are my favorite.

5) I can take on concubines without converting to muslim. I heard that circumcising is a painful process.

6) I don't have to shave nor cut my hair. I can look like a wildman all I want because it seems to be the 'in' thing then. In fact all swordsmen look like that.

7) I can carry my weapon anyway I go without being stopped by police. Or rather constables.

8) I can meet old friends everywhere I go. Contrary to belief, China is actually a very small place. From all ancient China movies, no matter where they go, they just seem to bump into each other. I am not so enthusiastic about meeting my foes though.

9) I can kill anyone whom I don't like without being charged by the law. Apparently, the cells in ancient times are only used to hold those who steal buns on the streets.

10) I don't have to buy newspaper. All I have to do is to go into an inn buy wine and a few dishes and sit down and eavesdrop on other people's conversations and get updated on what's happening in the pugilistic world.

Success Stories

2007-10-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

Once in a while you are bound to meet an old friend whom you have not met nor contacted for some time and you sit down to have a nice chat perhaps about the good and maybe the not-so-good old times. Slowly the conversation will move on to recent times and the future and this fellow goes on and on lamenting about his success (and look down on you in the process!) and you realize that this is someone whom you will never contact again in your entire life.

I met someone who I have not seen for quite some time and within 5 minutes after the how-are-you and what-you-doing shit, he goes on and on about his huge plan to acquire wealth and how he is going to afford his future toys like Porsche and BMW. His plan? To venture into the China market to bring in stuff to sell and trade. I was polite enough not to point out that that is something that already a lot of people are doing and also that he has achieved nothing yet because he is some years my senior.

I do realise that he is perhaps giving me some advice or educating me. However, a piece of advice if expressed wrongly, looked more like boasting and blowing his own trumpet and the main thing here is - he has achieved nothing yet and even goes on to say how other industries and ideas are not going to work and he is ahead of everybody.

He believes firmly in the motto 'Dare to Dream' and encourages that I do the same as well. I do believe in dreaming as well. Way back when I was in Secondary school, I was always picked by the teachers in my class when I was sleeping or not concentrating. "Oei! Dreaming ar?!!" the teacher would scream at me. See, I was already a certified dreamer by the school long time ago.

I have nothing against confidence but an overdose of that equals to arrogance. I wished him good luck on his impending success and joked that hopefully he will still remember me should he succeed in getting his 'toys'. Perhaps in a few years time, he will be the one to tell me "See, I told you so".

I remembered reading somewhere some rich buggers saying that 'money is but an idea or a concept'. I do have many ideas and concepts though many people tend to dismiss it as crap and nonsense but I am nowhere getting rich. Perhaps the correct way to rephrase it is 'money is ANYTHING but an idea or a concept. Maybe I should jump on the bandwagon and venture into the China market as well since everyone says that it is a goldmine there.

I already have an idea of what I am going to do. I will walk round the street and sell 'bing tang hu lu'. I figured that if every citizen buys one from me, I will be a millionaire in no time. I also figured that I will take around 6000 years before I finished walking the whole of China. The conquer of China is not too far away.

Plus I heard that the ratio of a man to a woman is 1:4 over there. It seems that the chances of me getting a wife there is higher. Or a mistress. Or even two.

The Cock Soldier

2007-10-19T01:04:00.000-07:00

One fine day in my company line..

I was addressing this mini squad who wanted to go and report sick.

"IC! What's the strength of the report sick personnel?" I asked.

The IC, who has the blurrest face in the entire universe, turned round and replied:" Erm..Sergeant, I am afraid the strength is not very strong and in fact quite weak as we are all going to report sick."

I would have killed him if I have a live round and a rifle in my hands. He is a very lucky man.

Lust.Caution

2007-10-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

I went to catch Lee An's latest movie - Lust. Caution starred by Tony Leung, Lee Hom and Tang Wei (a rising star in Mainland China) over the weekend. Despite the many controversies surrounding the cut scenes of the movie, I would say that this movie is still worth my weekend ticket price.

The setting of the movie is in 1940s Shanghai, where the Japanese has just taken over China in the Japanese Occupation. Tong Leung (Yee) plays a powerful political figure in the Japanese backed-Chinese Government as the post of Intelligence Chief. His main role is to eliminate rebels who are looking to overthrow the Japanese empire. Lee Hom (Kuang) stars in the role of a charismatic student drama club chairman of a school. He is patriotic to his country and could not bear to see his country fall into the hands of the Japanese. By chance, he meets Tang Wei (Wong Jia Zhi) and shares with her his plan to assassinate Yee.

Wong is to take up the role of Mrs Mak to get close to Yee's wife. She is to help to find out the daily habits and routines of Yee to faciliate Kuang's gang to find a chance to assassinate Yee. By twist of fate, Yee was seduced by the charm and beauty of Wong and Kuang decided to use Wong as a bait to assassinate Yee.

Tony Leung was as usual, charming in his portray as Yee in this movie. However, fans may expect more from this acting veteran. The way he walks, acts or talks seemed to be a carbon copy from his character in one of his previous movie, 2046. The character of Kuang doesn't really fit Lee Hom at all. A patriotic student with an accent in his Mandarin hardly goes hand in hand. The way he spoke Mandarin in the movie is as good as me trying to speak French. One scene of the movie with Lee Hom leading his crew of rebels dancing and singing patriotic China songs down the street had the audiences in the theatre in stitches. His expressions need a lot more honing and in some scenes, his face is like that of a dead fish.

It was Tang Wei who really impresses me the most. Her character, in my opinion, is the hardest to act. Her portraying of the character of an ordinary student who was thrown into the turmoils of the chaotic world and get swept up in a dangerous game of emotion intrigue with Yee was a delight to watch. China does really have a stream of very talented young actors and actresses.

Many local critics had condemned this movie, saying that the cut version undermined the artistic value of the movie and one extremist in one newspaper column even urges Singaporeans to boycott this movie and piles pressure on the local movie industry to release an uncut (R21) version of Lust.Caution.

I was fairly disappointed when I learnt that 9 minutes of the movie had been cut to bring down the rating to cater a bigger crowd. However, after watching the movie, I would say that it has not lost its essence due to the cut and it scores a high 8/10 on my list. The main reason was because it was Lee An who cut the footage himself, not the Board of Censorship. Surely Lee An would not have cut something that would kill the plot or the essential emotions of the characters in his movie?

In other words, this lust can still be proceeded, with or without caution.

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"I look into the eyes of my fellow politicans in the Government and I see one thing only - Fear." Yee told Wong, which perhaps sums up the fear and stress he faces everyday in his job.

"The reason why this restaurant has got so little people is because the food they serve is awful. But that's the reason why I like it here. I can talk less discreetly here because there are not many people around." Yee to Wong in a suggestive mood.

"You could have had me 3 years ago. Why didn't you?" Wong said to Kuang. A simple sentence but yet contains her love and admiration for Kuang. It was perhaps of this that Wong decided to take up the dangerous assignment of acting as a spy beside Yee.

Getaway

2007-09-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

"Tibet?!!" I exclaimed.

"Yah. Why not? It's exotic and has many beautiful scenery. We will take a plane up to Guangzhou and from there, we can take a train all the way up and reach Tibet," said my friend.

My friend and I were discussing to go on an overseas trip after our ORD when he came up with this suggestion. We were thinking of places like Thailand, Hong Kong, Taiwan - the type of places where tourists normally go. Tibet? It seems so far-fetched.

It was then I recalled my trip to India 3 years ago - that many 3-4 hours car trips travelled, the 10 hour long train ride where we passed by god-knows how many plots of greenery where you can see a tall tree suddenly erected smack in the middle of nowhere and cows moving on the road like nobody's business. No tall buildings. No glamorous clothings. The beauty of simplicity. The only pity was that I didn't have a camera with me then.

Yes, I would love to re-live that again, especially that 10 hours train ride where I sat on the edge of the train's door, watching the beauty of nature's art. A trip to Tibet could just be that perfect getaway which I have craved and waited for so long.

Ok. Tibet it shall be.

Picture Comprehension

2007-09-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

Picture Comprehension(or is it composition?)

This is a picture of a park with many people. There are many trees in the picture. Some of the trees are tall and some of the trees are small. There are boys, girls, men and women in the picture. The people are sitting and standing on the grass. Some of the grass are green and some of the grass are brown. The children are sitting in a circle. They are very happy because they are sitting. The big men and the big women are standing around the children. They are not happy because they are standing. The big woman in white is crying and she is using her hand to cover her crying face. She is crying because she is unhappy. She is unhappy because she cannot sit down. The woman in black in front of the crying woman is pleading with the children to let her sit down. She wants to sit down because she is very tired. Only one big woman is happy because she is sitting down. The man on the right hand side of the photo is half-happy because he is half-sitting down. There are a very brave man and a very brave woman in the far background of the picture. They are very brave because they are standing on a dinosaur. They are not happy because they are standing up. They are happy only when they can sit down.

On Equality

2007-08-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

We have heard so many a times where our female counterparts complained that they are treated unfairly and have asked or rather demanded equality between the 2 sexes. I am also standing on this side of the fence -that is to demand equality between men and women.

1) Men should not shoulder the responsiblilty of being the breadwinner of a family.
2) Men should not hold the door for a lady to enter.
3) Bills should be split evenly when a couple goes out.
4) Females should also enlist in the army.
5) Females should also help to carry heavy stuff instead of asking us guys to do it.
6) Men and women should compete together in all sports events instead of dividing them into male and female category.

Now I wonder whether our dear female counterparts are still crying out for equality. It seems to me equality to them is necessary only when they are at a disadvantage. When instances like the above 6 points which I mentioned, they will keep silent or say 'I girl leh. U cannot expect me to do this mah.' Yah right. The word 'equality' goes out of the window straight away.

Actually most of my female friends are ok. The ones who I cannot stand is those who will fit right into the 'Women's Right Association' where they try to lead their female comrades into speaking up against 'unjustice'. Of course I am not referring to protests against rape charges or where their rights are seriously violated. I am referring to those minor minor issues where we guys don't give a toot about.

And you know what the best part is? These so-called 'Women's rights' leaders often double up as love advisors. And the funniest part is these people giving the 'advice' are most likely single themselves or not having much experience in this area. Do you ask a beggar for financial advice? Do you teach Ronaldinho how to play football? Funny how these advisors can say things so casually. "Aiya, no point loving this kind of man la. Just leave him." or "You should just break up with him before he leaves you in the future." Easier said than done. I hate irresponsible people like this who think that just by throwing a statement or 'advice', all problems can be solved.

And also why can girls refer themselves as princess in their nicknames or blognames while if a guy refers himself as a prince, he is considered shameless? If suddenly one day I change my nick to Prince Colo I think I will be the laughing stock of everyone. It seems that only a girl is permissible to fantasise and dream while a guy cannot. Equality huh?

But anyway, if really comes a day any of my male friends dare to address himself as Prince-whatever, I think I will give him a slap as well. I cannot imagine a guy imagining himself as a prince riding on a white horse hoping to meet his Snow White someday. In my eyes, only one person qualifies as a prince. Check him out here.
This is a prince --> http://www.thenoel.org/asianprince/

This is not --> http://www.stevenlim.net/

Unless you are even half as good-looking as the above mentioned, don't even dream of referring yourself as a prince. It's time to wake up and get a real job.

Forgive me for not writing more as it's getting late.

The King needs his sleep now.

Hairy Punter

2007-07-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

Seeing how Jk Rowling is making millions (or billions!) with a little boy wizard makes my eyes sore. It's funny to see so many people, old and young alike, getting fascinated with this little fictional character. Credit to the movie people, I believe they couldn't have made a better choice to cast Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter in their movie though they better finish the whole series before our dear Daniel starts to develop tons of chest hair and moustache. Try imagining Harry Potter with a goatee.

I think I also can make millions with my books. I am going to start a new book with a fictional character called Hairy Punter. It's about the life of a football punter who went to the death gallows eventually.

BOOK 1
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE GOAL SCORER'S STONE

Hairy's parents were killed by loan sharks when he was a small boy. The loan sharks couldn't bear to kill this small little boy but left a scar instead - an emotional scar in his heart. From then on, Hairy Punter is always looking for ways to get rich so that he will never be chased by loan sharks in his entire life.

Hairy chances upon a stone - goal scorer's stone that have the full match analysis of the games on TV. He thought he had found a new way to get rich- by punting on football matches!

BOOK 2
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE CHAMBER OF CIGARETTES

Hairy knows he needs to have capital in order to punt to be rich. His 2 friends, Rot and Heroin, an Ah-beng and Ah-lian invite hairy to join them in the smuggling of cigarettes from Malaysia to Singapore. Hairy doesn't smoke, but he knows that this is perhaps the only way to earn money. He blames himself for his lack of education. Since young, he enrolled in card magic school and Magic- the gathering card games school. He should have realised that these 2 skills will never provide him with a future.

But Hairy should also have known that one cannot break the law in Singapore. He was caught one day while smuggling in cigarettes under the magic carpet of his car and was sent to Changi Prison.

BOOK 3
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE PRISONER OF CHANGI

Hairy was sentenced to 6 years jail. Inside he met an old prisoner who had been inside for 20 years. He, like Hairy will be released in 6 years' time. Inside Hairy and the prisoner of Changi starts to plan their future. Both of them have the same interest in punting. One day, the old prisoner came up with an idea. "Instead of us punting, why not become bookies and let other people punt? In the way, we will earn even more money!" Hairy was impressed with the old prisoner's insight and knowledge and acknowledged the old prisoner as his God-father.

BOOK 4
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE COFFEE-SHOP ON FIRE

Hairy and his god-father start their operation at a coffee shop in geyland. For the first few years they were doing well but their phone-call based operations were starting to get replaced by technology in the form of computers. More and more punters prefer to punt through the internet instead of using the biggest telephone network, Lord Vodafone. One day their coffee shop caught fire and they lost everything in a night.

BOOK 5
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE ORDER OF THE COMPUTERS

Hairy and his god-father have decided to move on together with the trend. Since the market demands the use of the internet to punt, they place an order on 6 computers to aid them in their business. Lord Vodafone, unhappy that he had lost one of his biggest client in Hairy and Co, sent one of his men to assassinate Hairy. Hairy's godfather was killed while protecting his beloved god son. Lord Vodafone swears to God that only 1 will survive between Hairy and him.

BOOK 6
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE HALF-PRICED PROMOTION

Hairy knew that Lord Vodafone will come after him sooner or later. He comes up with a promotion to monopolise the whole punting market. He announces that all losing bets will be at half-price. With that almost everyone chooses to punt with Hairy's company. With his new-found power and establishment, Hairy plots to seek revenge by forming a new team.

BOOK 7
HAIRY PUNTER AND THE DEATH GALLOWS

Hairy fulfils Lord Vodafone's prophecy by killing him to avenge his godfather. He is, however caught by the law and charged with illegal bookmaking and murder. He is sent to the gallows, marking the end of the book.
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I believe that this series will be a huge success as it is both entertaining and educational. Perhaps one day it may even be used as a Literature text or for moral education.
The route to being a millionaire is not too far away.

Fret not if you are worried that you may not be able to get a copy. I have already arranged with the publisher to release the books precisely at 7.01am(singapore time) in year 21000. In fact you can already start to pre-order now. Orders are available at all Singapore pools.

Never say never

2007-07-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

I remembered once posting that it is not really necessary to pursue a degree if you have a diploma because work experience is more important than a stupid piece of paper. I remembered highlighting the points and even using 'finanical analysis' to back up my stand. I remembered saying how long it will take for a Dip student going for a degree to catch up finanically with a Dip student who start work straight away.

I just began my classes in business marketing(bachelor degree) not too long ago.

The irony of it all is most of my friends, while in the army, told me that their plans after NS is to study instead of working while I am the exact opposite, saying that I will work instead of studying. Funny thing is I have already started classes while they have not enrolled in any schools yet.

My mum reminded me that day when I told her my plans to study - that I had told her in her face "don't expect me to continue my studies hor!" after I had a hard time getting my diploma. She even cheekily imitated me holding my Dip cert in my left hand and putting my right hand finger in her face telling her no way.

Things do have a way to happen most unexpectedly. One morning I just woke up in bed and kept pondering to myself whether I should study or not. It's weird to explain but that moment I woke up that day, this thought came to my mind straightaway. I lay in bed for a very long time but couldn't come to a conclusion.

That very night, I went to an old classmates' gathering when this classmate talked about the school he is in now and asked me whether I am interested. Furthermore he's in marketing and the things he described to me seemed to suit me very much. And I supposed if you have some common sense, you shouldn't fail this course right? And the rest as they say, is history.

Things, however are not looking that rosy. My lecturer had a talk with me at the end of a lesson while we were walking down the stairs.

He in bold.

Me.

"So, have you done any market research before in any part-time job?"

"Nope."

"Did you have a diploma in marketing before coming here? Or any relevant certificate related to marketing before you start schooling here?"

"Nope."

"Or have you studied any modules before somewhat related to marketing, for example, business, management etc?"

"Nope."

"None of the above? Well, good luck to your assignment."

I think I just got screwed.

Movie Mania

2007-07-06T07:19:00.000-07:00

The movie everyone has been talking about has finally screened around a week ago. If you don't know which movie I am talking about, well, you must have been dreaming for the past 1 month.

This movie, Transformers had been on the lips of almost everyone's mouth. Even in coffee shops you can hear the young fathers talking in enthuestisim to his son about the movie and planning to bring his son to the cinema to watch, though I suspect it's the father who is really more keen to watch it. I'm not surprised, considering the fact that these fathers were only young teenagers when Transformers stormed into the fantasy of everyone - except me.

I knew about the cartoon Transformers but I didn't know what characters this cartoon had and certainly never watch it on TV faithfully every time it's shown. I did told you before that I don't have much of a childhood. All I knew about Transformers is that they can transform themselves into vehicles and transform back into robots when there is a need to fight.

However, having watched the movie yesterday, I have to admit that the director Michael bay has done a brilliant job in bringing this childhood cartoon onto the large screen. I was pretty fascinated especially in the beginning of the movie when I saw the transform for the 1st time as I was expecting a lame attempt in its technical aspect.

Although I did fall asleep for a few minutes near the end of the movie when everyone was flying around and fighting with each other, that doesn't mean it fades out eventually. The reason was because I didn't really sleep much for the last few days prior to watching this movie and also because I was never a big fan of action packed movies. In fact most of my friends like the movie so much that they went to watch it the 2nd time. I will give it a 9/10.

There have certainly been a year of blockbusters and also a year of part 3s. Spider-man 3, Shrek 3, ocean's 13 and others more which have completed their trilogies. It seems that the only movie left worth expecting is Harry Potter.

Among the many blockbusters shown this year, I would say I am most disappointed in Spider-man 3. The cast seemed to have frizzled out compared to 1 and 2. The story is also quite disappointing. It seems to me that they are putting in all the villians into the movie in one go and expecting our Mr Spidey to take them all by himself. The only reason why this movie is still worth a little bit of mention here is because of my favorite Chio-bu, Kristen Dunst.

And of course my favorite movie is Ocean'13 as it's full of wit, humour and plenty of eye-candies, especially for the girls. I didn't like ocean's 12 at all. In fact it was so bad that I turned it off after watching Disc 1 on my VCD set. Ocean's 13 is quite similar to 11 in aspect of filming ideas and storyline and 13 is one movie which I wouldn't mind watching a 2nd time.

Lovers' tiff

2007-06-25T02:56:00.000-07:00

I always think it's very interesting to see a couple having a tiff with each other, especially a cold war. Not that I'm a sadist, but it's really interesting to look at the body language portrayed by the couple. You know the kind of expression that says I-don't-really-care-but-actually-I-do.

Just the other day I was in the lift when a couple followed in behind. I stood in the middle away from the door while the couple took a side each. The man was holding a can of beer and looking down at the ground and looked very glum while the lady was looking at him with red, accusing eyes. I assumed the red eyes came from the results of crying.

Not a word was spoken between them and the atmosphere was stagnant. I felt extremely awkward and just looked at the floor, acting as if I saw nothing. It was the longest 30 seconds of my life.

I believe that a cold war is always more scary than an actual war where both sides start to scream and hurl abuse at each other. At least both parties get to thrash things out and express their feelings at whatever they are unhappy at. The silent treatment is the worst type which normally happens when one side has already given up hope on the other.

When I was in secondary school, I once encountered another similiar situation on a bus as well. A girl came abroad(the second level) in tears and sat right in front of me. The guy slowly came in from behind and sat 3 seats away from the girl. The guy would turn round occasionally and looked at the girl with a guilty look on his face but throughout the journey before I alighted, the guy never once came over to the girl.

I was actually quite tempted to offer the girl a tissue but decided not to eventually. Reason one was I did not have one with me then and the second reason was the guy has a size of a body-builder. I was only 16, young and innocent and grew up with the spirit of a typical Singaporean - that is to mind your own bloody business. Things might turn really bloody if I don't.

But the worst type of tiff that can happen to a third party as in me like in the above 2 cases, is the one by a couple who are both your friends. The only solution is to act blur and walk off as far as possible so that you will not be forced to take sides. Or perhaps I should record a video of them to show them how silly they look.

My recommendation is if there is really a need to quarrel, it would be better if you all do it behind closed doors so as not to implicate innocent parties like me. It might result in an emotional scar in my pure and innocent heart.

Of loneliness and Despair

2007-06-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

How do you define loneliness? she asked.

I guess loneliness is when you feel so emotionally down and full of despair and wanting to have someone to relate and talk to and when you scroll down your phone list and realise.. you don't have that somebody whom you can call. I replied.

Ha. Maybe that is as close as you can get. So what do you do when you are in that kind of mood? Anyone to call?

Nah. I don't really think so. I guess I'm lonely too. I guess I'm more of that type of person people will call than being the one to call. I'm not really that type to take initiative.

But it seems you are always surrounded by company. I think you don't really have much of a chance to feel lonely. Haha.

But I'm human too, ok? Haha. But I think I am more than capable of dealing with my own emotions. You? How you do deal with your emotions? Got that somebody to call?

Nah. Don't have. But I am not really that comfortable to call someone and talk about my feelings. Normally I will just indulge myself in my daily chores and forget about any loneliness or despair felt. I'm like you too. A listening ear rather than the 'victim'. Haha. And I'm a good listening ear too. So next time when you feel despair you should know who to call. She grinned.

Yah. Of course. I replied. I will call those 1800-chatlines and talk to those sweet little things as advertised to drive away my loneliness. Hopefully they are worth my money.

Gift

2007-05-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

One of the things I hated most is being tasked to buy a birthday present for a girl by my group of friends. It's not the hassle of specially going to buy or having to pay first but rather my incapability of choosing things for a girl. Throughout my 24 years of manhood I suppose the number of times I have bought something for a girl can be calculated by one hand. As for all my ex-girlfriends it's more of them telling me what they want and then me buying it on the spot. No surprises, no gimmicks, no nothing. I'm a boring boyfriend really.

And my dear friends, despite knowing my this handicap, had to ask me to buy the present for this upcoming birthday girl. "You are the most free person this week liao. The rest of us have to work leh. You whole week on off mah," they said. Then I truly have got no excuses to offer. The lesson learnt is to never reveal your off days in the future.

It used to be so much easier in the past. Any soft toy would have done the job. But people do grow up. Soft toys are only for 18 and below. I cracked my brain but still couldn't come up with a solution on what to give for a 23 year old girl. I needed advice.

I called up a couple of my girl-friends for help and they recommended stuffs like jewellery, perfume and handbags. But the problem was that I might choose something which was not to the girl's liking due to the differences in tastes. And I have a proven track record in that aspect, sad to say.

I spent nearly an hour walking round Plaza Singapura and it appeared fruitless. Nothing seemed to be suitable. Either the price is wrong or I know she wouldn't like something like that. I was desperate and already thinking of calling her up personally to ask her what she wants for her birthday.

I decided to give the calling help-line one more try. Perhaps my sister will be able to help as she always help to celebrate other people's birthdays. And the advice she gave me was the best ever, solving this problem I have once and for all.

"Buy voucher la! Easiest liao. Get a $100 or $200 voucher for her so that she can come and shop for the things she like herself. Better for both parties mah!"

And so, in the future when it's your birthday and you know that I am getting your present, don't expect a surprise. Your present is going to come in the form of an envelope, no doubt about it.

And they lived happily ever after

2007-05-01T11:53:00.001-07:00

I have never liked fairy tales since I was a kid because I think they are unrealistic and will never happen in real life. The one sentence which I hated the most was 'And they lived happily ever after'.

I believed that the writers of these beautiful endings are polluting the minds of little children, making them believe that they have the potential to be little princesses and some of them still do today (look at the number of girls who proclaimed themselves to be princess online...princess Jenny, princess Kimberly etc etc...). The biggest offence is letting little children believe that they can feed and survive on love and everyone will marry a prince someday.

I wondered how sure these writers are when they say 'And they lived happily ever after'. Remember how the prince and Cinderella only know each other for less than 3 days. What if the prince turns out to be a womanizer? Or if Cinderella happens to have bad breath? What if they have a character clash? Who gets up in the middle of the night when the baby starts to cry? And Cinderella being just a maid in her household and now married to a prince, how well-received will she be in the palace?

Snow white's story is even more ridicuious. Snow white if you recall, ate the poison apple and fell into a deep sleep and could not wake up. She was kissed and saved by a prince who happened to pass by and they married and live happily ever after.

What if the one who was on the horse was a pirate or a robber? So coincidence the prince of all people rode through the forest and saw Snow white and kissed her? Even if that is so then the prince must be a chee kok pek. How can you kiss someone you don't know on your first time? First time meet already kiss liao..2nd time I think he makes her pregnant already.

This is again bad education information for the little girls. Imagine one day a stranger approaches a little girl and wants a kiss from the girl.

Girl: No! How can you kiss me?
Stranger: I am a prince.
Girl: Really?
Stranger: Yah. Remember Snow White and the 7 dwarfs. She kissed a prince and they lived happily ever after.
Girl: Oh ya. Ok. Kiss me bah.

We must remember kids' minds are like a sponge in water. They absorb anything that comes their way. Fairy tales is the reason why there are so many child-molesters case victims. In my opinion, all the fairy tale books should be burnt or buried to ensure that such tragic cases will never happen again.

Another option will be to change the ending of the story and release a new edition. If I were the writer, the ending will be:

'And they were about to get married until Snow White realized how wrong it was for the prince to come and kiss her without even knowing her name. Furthermore his identiy was still unknown. What if he was the prince of a mob gang? Snow white then turned down his hand for marriage and filed a suit case against the prince for outrage of modesty. With the compensation she received, she was able to stop working and retired'.

That would have been a more realistic ending and also ensured that little girls will not pick up the wrong message. Well, then what about love you may ask since all fairy tales characters must have someone to marry in order to have a complete and blissful life.

'Well, in the end she married all 7 dwarfs and they all lived happily ever after'.

Depression blues

2007-04-23T04:51:00.001-07:00

The reason why I have not been blogging for such a long time is because I have been battling with depression. It got so bad that I was thinking of suicide, but later changed my mind as I don't want to die a virgin. That will be such a shame.

Depression No.1
I have been jinxed recently. All the bets I placed in soccer all turn to dust. All of them. I will be filing for bankruptcy in the near future if this continues.
Depression Rating: 4/5

Depression No.2
The parliment has recently announced a $50 increment for all NSF regardless of ranks from July onwards. $50? I would rather pay them to let me ORD earlier. $50 in increment is all they are giving us for working like a dog for them. I think a real dog leads a better life than I do.
Depression Rating: 3/5

Depression No.3
I am facing very low morale issues recently. I am finding it very hard to be motivated during work. I will book in, smoke, shit and kiwi my boots and repeat the whole process 3 times until someone kick my arse and ask me to get to work.
Depression Rating: 4/5

Depression No.4
My TV has given up on me. The image is always in black and white whenever I play DVDs. The only movie I can watch is Sin City and I am sick and tired of that movie already.
Depression Rating: 3/5

Depression No.5
I was very deeply affected by the recent killing spree at Virginia Tech by a South Korean. I read the interviews by the survivors and friends of those who were killed and was saddened by the number of innocent lives lost to a mad man. I was so affected that I dropped the idea of going to my camp and start killing everyone I see. An idea which I have harboured long long ago.
Depression Rating: 4/5

Depression No.6
Whenever I feel the blues, I will go on an eating binge. When I go on a binge, I will feel lazy and refuse to work out. When I go on a binge and feel lazy and don't work out, I will put on a lot of weight. When I go on a binge and feel lazy and don't work out and put on a lot of weight, I will feel the blues. It's a vicious cycle and one which I don't know how to stop.
Depression Rating: 5/5

When I was a student (in poly)

2007-02-22T02:25:00.000-08:00

When I was a student in Ngee Ann Poly

- I studied multimedia in Ngee Ann and before registering, I thought it is something like Mass Communications or something to do with the media when you get to meddle with stuff in studio or camera. In the end it's on computing stuff and I AM A COMPUTER IDOIT, even today I still am.

- When I purchased a lap top which is essential for my course, I did not know where the CD-Rom was. Once my friend came over my house to borrow my laptop to do some stuff and asked me to help me insert the CD into the CD-Rom and I told him my laptop doesn't have one. He rotated my laptop and pressed a button and out popped the CD-Rom.

- We once had to do a project individually and upon completion, the teacher passed round a disk and asked us to save into it. Somehow I inserted the disk into the zip drive instead of the A drive. The computer began to give out a strange rattling noise. The teacher came over to see and her facial expression was classic. It read,"How could somebody be so stupid?" In the end, with the help of another teacher and a metal ruler, she managed to extract out the disk. I was relieved, and so were some of the top students in the class. Because they have saved their work in the same disk.

- I only attended the 1st few lectures. After that lectures all automatically become 'self-revision'.

- My classmates and I always like to play stupid games. We would play 'zhong ji mi ma' and the loser will have to do a forfeit like getting a girl's number and so on. Our favorite game was at MacDonalds at King Albert Park. Everytime before we go, we will play the game and the loser will have to carry everyone's bags to the bus stop. I was always the one suggesting stupid forfeits- and always ended up being the one being punished.

- In my 1st semester, we had a module called Business Information System. The book is a very thin one and its contents looked very simple. I joked to my friends saying that it is almost impossible to fail this module. I did the impossible, together with 2 of my other classmates. NNB.

- Mid-way till tutorials and practicals especially those 2-hours sessions, me and a couple of my classmates will always disappear saying we need to go to the loo, and go to the canteen for coffee and tea. We only come back at least half an hour later.

- I get Ds(just passed) for almost all my modules throughout my 3 years in Poly. Teachers always say I am lucky to have passed. I would rather refer it as strong survival instinct, studying just the right thing to get a pass.

- We had a module in yr 2 or 3 called project management. I scored a high B+ in this module, even higher than most of the better students in my class. I told them I am cut out for management, not some dumb programmer. They never agree with me.

- My classmates and I always like to find empty classrooms especially those located more remotely and play Dai-dee.

- Once we went up to the staff level to find a teacher and realized that the whole corridor was empty. Realizing that everyone had gone to a meeting, we explored the place and went into the staff lounge. I opened the fridge and saw one whole carton of sugar cane drinks (6-packs). I took a number of packs and went down to the classroom to distribute. The following week an email was sent to everyone warning that no one unless with the company of a teacher is allowed in the staff area. I supposed the camera located along the corridor really works.

- On graduation day when we went to collect our certs, my teacher said to me," I don't know how you do it but somehow you did it. This is the 1st time I see people who know nuts about computing but yet manage to get a diploma in computing. I really expected you to repeat at least a year." Bitch.

http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/09/when-i-was-student-secondary-sch.html
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/08/when-i-was-student.html (primary school)

My new name is Surachai

2007-02-08T02:05:00.000-08:00

God gracious I realize that I have not updated for quite some time. Sorry for the laziness.

Anyway I just got back from Bangkok and it was a great trip though I exceeded my budget big time. In fact I love that place so much that I got myself a new Thai name- Surachai. Not too bad huh?

Me and my 2 other friends touched down last Friday and checked in at Chapaya Park Hotel, a 4-star hotel. The charges were reasonable for a 4-star- $70 for a night a room. But the charges for the room charges and mini-bar was a bomb. $100 plus dollars for 3 rooms just for room charges +++. Lesson learnt. I will just sleep on the streets when I go there next time.

After checking in the hotel with our luggages, we went out for supper. There was this open-air restaurant selling seafood not too far away from our lodging place. We ordered this seafood platter - a big fish (bai chang yu), some big-head prawns, lots of lalas, cockrels and scallops for just $20!! Kao, for all these if you eat in Singapore, I think it will amount to around a hundred or maybe more.Furthermore the seafood are all very fresh. I was so touched that I cried when I saw the bill.

We went to one of their night markets which only operate during the weekends and bought some stuff. The T-shirts there are all going for around $10. I think the locals there could have gotten a better rate. I didn't dare to buy any food from the street vendors, mainly because their food was cooked right beside gutters, hardly appetizing. My friend bought a bag of fried crickets and I was game to try at first. But seeing the poor fellow's big eyes looking at me fried, dead and everything, I didn't dare to put it inside my mouth.

On Saturday, we went to their shopping malls which is like our Jurong point. Most of their stuffs can be found in Singapore. The difference was a few dollars cheaper. We also went to their Chinatown which was disappointing. There wasn't anything much there. We went to one of their restaurants for shark fins which was just quite average. Also the boss's attitude was also quite stuck-up. And it wasn't really cheap too.

There was much hype over there too as Singapore was due to play Thailand in the Asian cup final. We had actually managed to get tickets for the final at the stadium and ended up not going as we will be sitting right below the Thai fans. It's safety first and we ended up watching the game from the comfort and safety of our hotel room. When Singapore equalised in the 81st min, we opened our door and shouted "Singapore!" before retreating hastily into our room and locked the door.

The Thais weren't that hostile after the loss, as what we feared them to be. At the end of the day, it's just football. After coming back, friends asked whether I have seen any Lady-boys (Ah Qua) or not. Well, they are everywhere. Any corner you turn you are bound to see one. The funny things is there are so many beautiful women there but yet many Ang-mos chose the lady-boys. Perhaps a change of taste is what they are looking for. Ang-mos' tastes are really hard to comprehend.

There are many other more places which we visited but it's 2am in the morning and I have to wake up at 6. In conclusion, I have found another potential place to retire. And, don't call me by my name anymore, call me Surachai.

Dance of the Angel

2007-01-19T01:00:00.000-08:00

The old man limped towards a big rain tree and collapsed into a heap at its roots. Startled and awakened by his own impact, he was relieved to see that his beer bottle was still intact. He took a sip from it and sat down with his eyes closed. The bottle seemed his only comfort and friend nowadays.

The breeze was comforting with the willow plants swaying to the rhythm of the wind. The sun was about to set and its golden rays spreaded across the willow field beautifully. It was a sight to behold but the old man was not absorbed nor touched by the beauty of mother nature.

His wrinkles ran deep from the corner of his eyes to near the side of his ears and his eyes were lifeless and dull, seemingly uninterested in anything around him. He had no focus and was only concerned with his beer bottle.

Fate had dealt him a cruel hand. A fire 10 years ago not only took away his property, but also the lives of his wife and children. Since then he never really recovered and was living from hand to mouth by the compassion of the villagers. On the top of that, he had sought the comfort of the bottle to numb the pain of his loss, choosing to live his days in a daze.

As he was about to slumber into sleep he heard a soft music playing. He opened his eyes to locate the source of the music. The source was impossible to detect as it seemed to be coming from all directions. That was when he saw a figure standing around 50 metres away from him and it was dancing to the music.

Somehow the figure had a magnetic effect on the old man, drawing him nearer. As he came closer he realized that the figure was that of a girl and - she had wings! The old man rubbed his eyes, wondering if his beer was playing a trick on him.

The angel continued her dance as the old man looked on in bewilderment. This was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his life. The angel turned and then danced towards the direction of the sun. The old man followed quickly but the weird thing was no matter how fast he moved, she was always the same distance away from him. No matter what, he was not about to lose sight of her as he believed that this angel was here to help him to relieve his pain.

The angel came to the edge of a cliff and by a wave of her hand, a rainbow appeared out of nowhere, bridging a path from the cliff to the skies. She then continued her dance towards the skies and every once in a while, turning round to beckon the old man to follow.

The old man stopped in his tracks at the edge of the cliff, seeing the angel escalating higher and higher up into the sky. Why not? he thought to himself and spread himself open and threw himself off the cliff.

He could not tell whether he was flying up to the angel or down to the pits of the cliff. But he knew that in a matter of seconds, he would be embracing the peace and reunion he had craved and waited for so long.

The money talk

2007-01-06T16:00:00.000-08:00

"You know your cousin Ah Peng? Heard that she's now earning more than $7000 a month. Really envious hor?" my mum said to me just that day.

It isn't the first time she talked to me about the success of the children of her peers or my some distant cousins. I wouldn't say I was totally unenvious of those people and knew that my mother was hoping that instead of people boasting to her about their children, she was hoping that she could be the one boasting to other people instead.

It wasn't too long ago that she kept telling me about so or so who has gone abroad for further studies or so or so had got a scholarship given by the Government. Times has changed. The same bunch of people she was talking about have evolved into the successful people she has been talking about now. My mum has aged. So have I.

Just recently, I was at a gathering with some old friends whom I have not met for quite some time. And I felt so odd-out. Their conversation revolves round fast cars and their bosses or the office politics, each boasting to each other about their own prospects and potential while I looked on with amuse. I was almost oblivious to them. Until someone suddenly noticed my presence and turned to me,"What about you? Where you working at? Or still studying?" "I'm in the army." I replied. "Oh, you regular?" he asked. "Nope. I'm large." was my reply.

He certainly wasn't amused and continued his boast about his success to the other people around. And I was kind enough not to remind him that how just a year ago, he had come to me saying that he had owed a lot of money and need help and wished to borrow a couple of hundreds from me. To which I lent and only got it back half a year later.

There was this other guy in the group who turned to me and said that he's starting up a business and offered that maybe someday I can go and work for him. While I have nothing against having a friend as your boss, I couldn't forget that arrogant grin on his face.

Look at the gigantic difference. While these people are talking about fast cars and that office slut, I am still bitching about my Sergeant Major and Officers. To think that this bunch of people was the same bunch who played marbles and block catching with me when we were small kids.

While I don't really feel that inferior because I am very sure about this theory "The world is round. You never know what will happen in the future", it wasn't that pleasing hearing people rant to you with a hint of mockery in their tone, shattering my fragile ego. I regretted not throwing these people down the block when we were playing block catching back then.

As the saying goes, money is just a number game. How true that is. It is the number of times I'm hurt whenever I'm reminded that I am lacking of money. I'm waiting for a Sugar Mummy to come to my rescue. Or a TOTO windfall. Or better still, both.

New song

2006-12-26T03:00:00.000-08:00

歌曲：菊花台
歌手: Jay Zhou
词 : malmoncolo
曲: Jay Zhou

(sing to the tune of 菊花台, JayZhou's song in his latest album)

你的膀胱一小时去三四趟
收一毛的姥姥都靠你吃饭
夜太漫长难免开冰箱
是谁在阁楼上偷偷吃冰棒

一身脂月方满脸的油光
连医生都摇头说你已绝望
乱吃不管走路也会喘
用你的脸油炸鸡翅膀

chorus
一天吃六七餐你的牙齿已发黄
曾俊俏的你是大家的典范
人越吃人越胖你把椅子都坐断
独留你孤单在医院割盲肠

I can be so bo liao at times....

Merry Christmas

2006-12-21T23:51:00.000-08:00

I realize that I have not updated the site since coming back from Australia. In summary I have been working my arse off since coming back. I reach camp around 7am and only leaving the camp at about 10pm. This make me miss Australia more, where I don't really have to do anything while I was there.

I am still adapting to the fast and hectic life in Singapore. I miss the slow and stressless life there. Everything seems to be twice as fast here. Looks like I have found the perfect place to settle down when I have retired.Haha.

This Christmas eve is going to be interesting and memorable because I am going to perform---
COS duty in camp. NNB. Merry Christmas people.

Home not so sweet home

2006-12-12T02:03:00.000-08:00

Finally reach home on Sunday at midnight after some 3 weeks or so. 3 weeks seemed short but I feel as if I have been away for a long long time. I feel almost uncomfortable upon reaching Singapore. Perhaps it's the jet lag or the weather. Only on the 2nd day which is today did I realize what it is. It's the pace. The difference in pace of life between Singapore and Australia. I think that place is very suitable for retirement.

Anyway this overseas exercise seemed more like an overseas leave for me. I didn't really do much there I must say. So much so that maybe people have forgotten about my presence. I feel like a beach bum waking up everyday with nothing to look forward to except for the day to pass. And..it feels good to be a beach bum.

Beach Bum's routine
0730-- wake up, brush teeth and find breakfast.

0830-- find a spot under a tree and spread a director chair for some light reading.

1000-- find people to talk cock. People can range from friends who were deployed in camp to the uncle who cook our food.

1130-- be the first to get seated at the cookhouse ready for lunch.

1200-- proceed to the canteen to watch DVDs (They only have 6 3-in-1 discs and I have already finished them).

1500-- short nap of maybe an hour.

1600-- wake up and walk around and try to find a purpose and always ending up failing.

1700-- change to PT shoes and go for a jog.

1745-- report for dinner

1815-- bath and wash up.

2000-- report for night snack

2015-- proceed to canteen again for beer and watch more DVDs.

2230-- sleep

It sure feels good at first but after a few days it's really damn boring as there are totally no entertainments at all over there. The worst thing is when you have nothing to do, time seems to pass slower.

The funny thing is about the Singaporeans in Ang Mo countries. I don't understand why they must go and fake an accent while talking to the Ang Mo. It's not as if they can't understand you if you speak your normal way.

One postive about the trip is I have gotten a very good tan. So good a tan that people are addressing me as Mohammad Yifan. Damn the bloody sun.

Day 6

2006-11-24T10:56:00.000-08:00

Today is my day 6 in Australia. The sun is really skin-peeling and I am suffering from sun-burnt. The night is a huge difference though. The temperature can fall as low as 6 to 8 degrees. The wind is a killer at night. The number of clothings you wear will not help at all.

But I am pleasantly surprised at the facilities and welfares it offers despite the camp being in the middle of nowhere. They have internet access here though you have to queue up for it as there are only three PCs. The shower room also offers hot water which is definitely important.

There is even a canteen that sells food and ice-cold drinks. However the price is much much higher than the things you buy in Singapore. A coca-cola costs as much as $1.60 Aussie dollars, which is around $2 in Singapore dollars. The irony is beer costs as low as $2 Aussie dollars only. But the beer content here is much stronger than the ones back in Singapore. Half a can and I am almost gone.

I have yet to see a kangeroo yet. I am not pining too much hope as they say not many kangeroos inhabit this area. The ang-mos are all very friendly though I can't really catch what they are saying because of their thick accent. Most of the time I just go,"Ya ya ya".

It's only day 6 which means there are almost 15 more to go and I am missing home already. Will update again when I get the chance.

Speech of the day:

My RSM to me and a few storemen:
"You people from Logistics are very important because you people can bring up the morale of the men. When it's hot, you bring up ice and their morale will go up. When it's cold, you bring up hot tea or coffee and their morale will go up. In times of war, morale is very important. Remember! Think of the morale of the soldiers."

Yah right. Then who brings our morale up?

Boxing with Kangeroos

2006-11-16T02:21:00.000-08:00

Packing for a long overseas trip is a huge hassle. The checklist for packing doesn't seem to end. There seems to be so many things to bring. However, each person can only hand-carry one luggage and that is where you have to omit some entertainment stuff like camera or Mp3.

Going with the army is even more hassle + hassle. This one cannot. That one cannot. If you want to bring, can. You will need to declare and get approval for this and that. At the end of the day, so much time is wasted and nothing is done.

I will be flying off this Saturday to Australia and will only be back on the 9th of Dec. Which means my 1 year service anniversary will be spent in Australia. Cool. Comrades who are already there have feedback that during the day the sun is extremely scrotching and terribly cold at night.

I will update on the trip when I'm back. I will try to smuggle back a Kangeroo if possible. Bye!

The various drama serials from different countries

2006-11-07T21:41:00.000-08:00

India

Introduction:
The arguably most difficult to act in because the actors and actresses must be able to act, sing, fight and dance as well. Acting is of course a must for actors. They must learn how to fight predator-prey style too. 2 actors will circle each other slowly waiting for each other to make the first move, eyes unmoved and focused. You get the picture. Apart so, they must sing and dance along the slopes, up the hills, into the forests, round the tree. Well, anywhere is possible.

Must-have:
Lots of Extras to pose as the backup singers and dancers. LOTS of them. And also a nice coconut tree.
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HongKong

Introduction:
The hongkong directors always like to make serial dramas with occupations as their background.
Doctors, policeman, lawyers, pilots, stockbrokers. Name any occupations and they are most likely to have covered that job in one of their serial dramas. But the most common occupation is the police. Throw in a police, an undercover cop and a triad boss and you have a Hongkong production.

Must-have:
Car pursuing car. Car bang car. Man shoots from one car to another car but will never hit the intented target. Most likely will hit the driver only. A pitiful undercover cop is a must.

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Japan

Introduction
My favorite among all. The stories are short, meaningful and beautiful eye-candy. Japan rules in terms of creativity. They seldom have repeated storylines and they know how to tell good stories.

Must have:
They have everything.
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Korea

Introduction
I switch on the set. It's showing a Korean drama. They are crying. I change the channel. I flick back later. They are still crying. Korean's tear-jerkers are always a comedy to me. The funniest thing is you can't teach them new tricks. Somehow the female lead always manage to get cancer. I wonder why.

Must have:
A scene of the doctor telling the female lead that she has cancer and not much time to live. Her face upon hearing the news must be of shock and astonishment, not forgetting the tears. The doctor's words must always echo in her mind. The male lead is always the last to know.

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Singapore:

Introduction
Don't bother about their police-thief flicks. Cause the plots are always so familiar. Even the filming techniques. I always go,"hmm, I seems to have seen a similar Hongkong drama a couple of months ago on cable TV." Most of their dramas revolve round the heartland. The rich families will definitely have siblings plotting against one another.

Must have:
Fiona Xie.
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China:

Introduction:
Notice how in recent years the number of remakes they are making. Condor heroes, Wei xiao bao, tian long ba bu etc. There are many versions for each story. Each story more enchanced and better told by new technologies. It is always improving. But just watch the ones on ancient times will do.

Must have:
A few actors from other countries. You rarely will find one with full house China actors and actresses. An Inn serving as an information counter is also a must. If not how the actors will know when the next Wu Ling Da Hui is. The inn must also have a big enough window so that when there's a fight, someone can fly out of the window after being hit.

Sight-seeing

2006-11-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

I have been living in Jurong practically all my life but yet I only realized recently that the admission to Chinese garden is actually free of charge. I used to think that people would really be foolish to pay just to go in and see ponds, flowers and chinese sculptures for a fee. Which is why I have never been there before.

Imagine how foolish I felt when I approached the security guard and asked the admission fee to Chinese garden. "Free la! If they charge a fee then who will want to go in?" And he's right. The truth should have dawned on me much earlier.

It was because of my new bicycle that I began to know about my area. On days where I am free, I will cycle around the Jurong area which is quite big if you cover Jurong east and Jurong extension. I didn't know there are so many fitness parks in the Jurong area. Lots of places where I used to go as a kid have really changed drastically.

The big vacant plot of land beside Lakeside MRT station has transformed into a big lovely park brilliant for jogging, cycling or fishing(it's illegal though). I even managed to run into my neighbours on one of my cycling trips(the place where I lived is quite a far walking distance from there). It's really a good place for relaxation.

Chinese Garden is a nice place too(double the nice because it's free). There's a lovely pond smacked right in the middle of the garden with lots of tortoises and fishes. My friend told me that pond used to allow people to fish, for a fee of course. But now it's just a pond where you can buy bread to feed the fishes and tortoises. The place is neat and well-kept, a huge contrast from Tang Dynasty City which I went after that.

I know Tang Dynasty City had closed down for maybe around 10 years. But that's this thing called trespassing. My friend and I locked our bicycles outside the gate and went in through a small door at the far right side of the main entrance which is already sealed up. Most people wouldn't have noticed the door as most of it was already covered by shrubs and weeds. It's like the Chronicles of Nardia. You go through the door and step into a new world.

They say a picture paints a thousand words. So here goes.

The magnificient ruins of Tang Dynasty City.

an abandoned temple

An inn

just another old house

one of my fav pics

There are many more pictures which I took but it's taking an awfully long time to upload them.

I hope they don't tear down that place. I'm in love with it already.

Mosquitoes

2006-10-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

I am been really extremely busy for the past 1 month. Finally there is some time to rest. Off on Monday plus the public holiday on Tues is a welcome period for me.

Packing stuff into crates for overseas exercise is really no fun at all. Add organizing a major scale shooting range to it and you get a very tired man. Sleeping in camp is no funny matter too. Out of the past 4 days of sleeping in camp, I hardly sleep at all. The reason? Mosquito bites. I have never had that much hatred for mosquitoes before. Somehow even the office which is air-conditioned is infested with mosquitoes too.

These mosquitoes are really damn irritating. Apart from biting you, they can even fly around and buzz in your ears to make sure you don't sleep. On the first night where I slept in, both my legs and arms were bitten sore and black blue all over. Even my lips were not spared. I can almost imagine what they say before biting me.

Mosquito A: Eh. Got new guy leh. Never taste before.

Mosquito B: Yah. I am sick of sucking the same blood every night. Finally got new stock.

Mosquito A: So how?

Mosquito B: Attack lor. Tell everyone to come. Tell them got buffet spread.

I was tortured by the commanders in the day and by the mosquitoes at night. Life is getting harder with each passing day.

My node warrant even dared to ask me this: "Ever consider of signing on? You can sign on the logistic side mah. If you want to sign, I will definitely write a recommendation letter for you. How? What do you think?"

What do I think?

I think he must be crazy.

Sorry

2006-10-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating as frequent as much as I would like to as I have been really tied up with work. Anyway this blog has just crossed it's 100th entry and it's 2 year-old birthday so happy birthday to malmoncolo.blogspot.

Below are some of the archives which I have chosen especially. I promise to update a proper entry when I am more free or when I have thought up of something. Enjoy!

1) The saddest day of my life
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2005/05/saddest-day-of-my-life.html

2) Wah! Alone ar? So loser!
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2005/04/wah-alone-ar-so-loser-ar.html

3) From all walks of life
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2005/06/from-all-walks-of-life.html

4) The real Romeo and Juliet Story
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2005/07/romeo-and-julietalmost-true-love-story.html

5) She
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/02/she.html

6) The problem with JC people nowadays
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/04/problem-with-jc-people-nowadays.html

7) Marriage
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/05/marriage.html

8) The real story of the dragon boat festival
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/06/real-story-of-dragon-boat-festival.html

Life after that

2006-10-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

Many people have been discussing this question throughout NS serving time. "What are you going to do after NS?"

Majority of the people have said that most likely they will continue studying after they have served their 2 years sentence. The people I am referring to are those who went into NS after completing their diploma. Their common response was," Of course study la. With diploma can do what in Singapore?" It's quite true and sad at the same time. Apparently in Singapore, one's capability is measured just by a piece of paper. The worst thing is most people don't even know what to study. "Can get the degree can liao la," they will say.

Most of my friends who have completed their studies seldom find jobs related to their study field. Their bosses just hired them based on their qualifications because the higher your education, the higher your ability to learn things.

For me I think I will go and work in the society for a couple of years before deciding whether to upgrade my education. One reason is of course to save up some money first. You don't really expect your family to support you finacially at the age of 25++ do you?

I did some calculations too and decided that this seems to be a better way:

Let's say a year of University fees cost $10000 (on average as different courses varies in fees)

4 years of education = 4 x $10000
= $40000

4 years of studying without income:

Let's say you spend an average of $300 per month

$300 x 12mths x 4 years = $14400

If you have started working 4 years earlier with a Dip compared to people who only will start working after completing their University:

The average Dip holder commands a pay of around $1600,
$1600 x 12mths x 4 years = $76800

After that you add all of them up:

4 yrs University fees + 4 yrs expenditure without income + the amt you could have earned if you started working 4 years earlier =

$40000 + $14400 + $76800 = $131 200

So here you are, you have already made a loss of $131 200 even before you have started working after your degree.
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A degree holder commands an average pay of $2000 to $2200.

Which means:

The difference between a dip and a degree a month is around $400.

Then take $131200 divide by $400 to see how many months it takes to catch up:

$131200 / $400 = 328 months

328 mths = 27 years plus.

Take 27 years plus 27 (the age you start working after getting the degree) = 54.

Which means you will already be near retirement age when you have caught up with the money web.

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Some people may argue that a degree brings better prospect in your future working life. True to some extent, but if you are really capable and I am your boss, I certainly don't give a hell whether you are a degree holder or O level holder.

Also don't forget that the degree is just a passport to an opportunity. If you have that opportunity already, why need a passport? At the end of the day, I think it's the work attitude and capabilty that counts rather than that piece of paper.

Furthermore if you have started 4 years earlier, you would have accumulated more working experience than others and have made more friends in the same field. And these Friends could equal to new Opportunites. There is this theory ' It's not what you know, but rather who you know' and I certainly agree with this theory.

Of course eventually it's all about choices and personal opinions. Some people may disagree with what I say but it doesn't matter. Just don't forget me if you strike it rich one day. :)

The students of today and yesterday

2006-09-26T00:45:00.000-07:00

I went back to my Secondary Sch last week to celebrate mid-autumn festival. My school is always very active in organising such events and with a couple of my friends, we went down to gate-crash the party.

The school is going to undergo some major renovations and while the renovation is going on, the school is going to move temporary to Teck Whyte for 2 years. I believe this should be the last time I am going to visit the school. Because after the new compound is ready, I believe that the feeling of familiarity and home will be gone, which is kind of sad. That place really have a lot of lovely memories for me.

Anyway, most or should I say all the teachers that were present still remember me despite me having left the school around 5 years ago. Normally in this type of cases, it's either I am a very dilligent or extremely naughty student. I believe it's the former. I think it's the former reason. Should be the former reason.

One of my friends went to have a little chit-chat session with our then discipline master(he still is now) and they talked about the changes of the school and the education system. "Times are definitely different" was the summary of what my discipline master said.

The school used to have a corner set aside for detention. Students who misbehave or didn't hand in homework will have to stay back after school till 5pm, sitting there and finish his or her homework. Plus that corner is near to the gate entrance which meant that anyone going home will most likely be able to see your face. It not only served as a purpose for you to finish your homework but also to let you suffer some humiliation.

When we went back to school that day, we realised that the corner had been removed. There is no more detention corner. I was pretty sad more or less because I was a frequent vistor at the detention corner as well way back then. The discipline master explained to my friend the reason why.

"Now ar, cannot lar. You put the students there till 5pm they go back home complain got mosquitoes bite them lar. No welfare lah. No human rights lar. Some even go back home complain say the teachers make them stay back in school and not allow them to go home. Worse still, the parents even dare to call the school and demand that their children come home straight after school. Of course have to remove the corner lor."

Damn funny. The kids nowadays are really damn spolit. Being made to stay back after school for detention is bad enough. They even dare to go back home complain there got mosquito bite. If it were me, I wouldn't even dare to let my mother know that I have been made to stay back for detention.

My discipline master used to have this habit of shouting at students by calling, "That boy there! Come over here!" Now, he told us, he has stopped doing so. "Cannot lar. You shout that boy there later he go complain that you address him like addressing a dog like that. Shout somemore. Later he can even claim that you scare him and thus making him nervous and it will eventually lead to a deep scar in his mind, making him mentally unbalanced. Now really cannot shout liao."

Wow. Discipline master also cannot shout. Then how do you maintain order in the school? In the society today, it seems that teachers are more afraid of students than the other way round. Any complains directed at you could lead to you losing your rice bowl. Furthermore the students nowadays also very smart, they wouldn't talk back to you or be rebellious on the spot. They go home write petition against you and then get everyone to sign. That is even a more vicious way to get back at you. It's like those scenes you see in the movies. "I will get my lawyers to speak to you. See you in court." Cool.

There is also a new policy that one of the teachers told us. Principals must now be under the age of 40 instead of last time whereby principals must be of a respectable age. The primary reason is because younger people have newer ideas which can gel better with the students. I have no doubt that perhaps it's true that younger principals may really have fresher ideas that students will prefer compared to those of older principals. But a school is still a school and some sets of values can never be changed. We are running a school. Not an enterprise.

I do admit some teachers don't really deserve the respect they demand and I have met a few in my school life. I think I have found the perfect way to deal with them. After I leave the army, I will go interview to be a principal. I am under 40 and therefore eligible. It will really be very very nice to have those teachers addressing me as Mr Principal.

When I was a student (Secondary Sch)

2006-09-11T03:00:00.000-07:00

When I was a student in Secondary School,

- I came to my Secondary Sch with an agg score of 250/300 and was categorized under the special stream. 4 years later after I failed my sec 3 the 2nd time, I was dropped to Normal Academic. That is 2 streams down.

- There was this very very stupid lesson called Moral Education( CME if you still remember) that teaches us about morals and we were even tested on it. For one of the particular test we were tested on festival customs where we were to write down our practices during these festivals. My answers? Eat mooncake during Chinese New year. Carry lanterns during Qing Ming. Give Ang Baos during Christmas. Fast during Hungry Ghost Festivals. My classmates certainly laughed their heads off while my teacher almost ripped my head off.

- We had an A-Maths teacher who always keep a straight face be it during teaching or when you greet her along the corridors. Me and my classmates always challenge each other to make her laugh. We succeeded once and regretted it right away. She looks really ugly when she smiles.

- I had no ECA when I reached Sec 3. There was a new rule stating that for those who had no ECAs, they will have to help out with the gardening stuff in school. There was vacanies for librarians then and I joined it then. I stayed there for nearly half a year before quitting. Till today no one really believed me that I told them I was an ex-librarian.

- When I was in Sec 3 me and my classmates used to play soccer almost everyday after school at the street soccer court opposite my school. There was this bunch of Sec 2 guys whom we always chase away and I believed they must have hated us very much. Comes the next year I was retained in Sec 3 and those Sec 2 guys were promoted to Sec 3 and guess what? They became my classmates. What comes round really comes round.

- I used to be skeptical about eating alone in the school canteen. I don't know why but I always feel that there are people watching me and I don't like that feeling. Nowadays as long as I get to eat, I don't give a damn.

- For my Geography homework, I had to draw the rain cycle which involves the cloud formation and those shit. I drew mine very nicely but felt that that wasn't enough. I proceeded to draw a Superman flying under the clouds with an umbrella in his hand. Another drawing is one of the sea breeze and land breeze thingy where you have to draw out how the hot air rises and all those crap. As usual I drew mine very nicely but still decided to put a Batman standing on the cliff by the sea with his cape floating in response to the wind. I got a big fat Zero for that 2 pieces of works. Teachers really don't know how to appreciate art.

- I talked to my A-Maths teacher (the one who looks better without smiling or laughing) about dropping the subject because I really feel I couldn't handle A-maths. She asked me to try my best and see how I fare for the coming mid-year Exams. I put the formula b2 - 4ac for all the questions in the paper and managed to score 1 point out of 100. I didn't have to ask her - after the papers were marked she came up to me and insisted that I dropped the subject.

- I was in the TAF club in Sec school and often had detention too for not handing in my homework. I would tell the discipline teacher that I had to go to TAF club training and then tell my TAF club teacher that I have detention and then walked out of school to play soccer at the street soccer court. I was never caught because I knew that both my discipline teacher and TAF club teacher didn't really like each other so they wouldn't really approach each other to ask about me.

- I quarreled with almost all my Science teachers because I really really hate Science. The most memorable one was when I was demoted to Normal Academic after I failed my Sec 3 for the 2nd time. During the 1st week I had a huge fight (verbally) with him along the corridor. Almost everyone came out to see what happened . I was lucky that he didn't report me to the principal.

The Gathering

2006-09-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

The ambiance was perfect with the soft jazz music playing in the background and the lights adjusted to a coral blue. There weren't many people which was good. Too much noise would have spoiled the ambiance and mood, which was otherwise perfect.

It was awkward initially as everyone was struggling to keep the conversation going. There were moments of pauses and after every 2 to 3 sentences, each was lost in his or her own world. It was tragic to see the years of friendship downgraded to such a degree.

We all used to have so much to talk about.

The gathering had been long-awaited. There had always been plans to meet up but was postponed eventually due to school or work commitments or some other excuses. The attendance was decreasing all the time and today was no different as only 5 of us turned up.

We used to hang out so much way back in school then. Be it the pool parlor, the library or the nearby shopping mall, nobody seems to want to go home straight after school. We had so much fun and could just find a corner to settle down and talk cock till late evening. There was such a strong bond and unity among all. Until that incident.

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One member then proceeded to talk about the funny things he encountered in NS and how different it was compared to when we were in school. That somehow did the trick. The atmosphere was somewhat brightened up and everyone started to open up.

We reminisced about the past, laughed at our present about how we are all locked up by the Government and talked about the future with great enthusiasm. It was a big contrast from the somewhat sombre mood experienced earlier.

It was as if the shadow that had always been existent had been plucked out and the mist of misunderstanding finally cleared. There was a sense of familiarity. A feeling that had been absent long since. The feeling of us unguarded towards each other. The feeling of trust. The feeling of us not giving a care in the world and just chatting and laughing the time away.

Very much like the good old times.

The Run

2006-08-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Today is the annual AHM (Army Half Marathon) but as I have not reach the second year of my service, I only need to run 10 km instead of the actual distance of 21 km. I certainly can't imagine how I am going to run the 21 km next year.

Anyway it is certainly a torture to wake up at 5 plus having slept around 3am the night before. We have to report to the Padang at 7am to report. The start of the run is scheduled at 8am.

Surprisingly the adrenaline was already running high at the starting of the run. Perhaps it is because of the number of people participating and everyone's morale was so high (which I couldn't understand why. Who wouldn't want to sleep in on a Sunday morning?).

Another surprise was the number of chicks at the event. I thought this was an army event? Somehow Chio Bus and NS just doesn't come hand in hand. Not that I mind anyway. It's always nice to have a pretty lady running beside you on a beautiful Sunday morning.

Mid-way through the run at around 4km, it started to pour suddenly. It took us by surprise because it was still quite sunny when we started the run. Everyone started to pick up speed as you feel less tired while running in the rain. Except me. I opted to walk instead because you don't find many opportunities to walk in the rain.

Walking in the rain while viewing the Singapore river is something you don't do very often. We passed by the CBD area ,the big Durian Head and many skyscapers. Somehow I hoped that the walk will not end that fast.

There was one incident which dented my mood a bit though. As I was walking past the Singapore river, there was this old uncle who came up to me and said," Hey boy, look at me. I am already 50 plus years old and I am still running. You so young only and you run a bit and is walking already." I told him to mind his own business and then proceeded to choke slam him into the Singapore river. Nah. If only. I smiled sheepishly and started to run a bit for show. Only after he was far beyond my sight before I started walking again. I really wanted to walk slowly and enjoy the view at the same time.

After reaching the finishing line, I was totally soaked, not by the sweat but by the rain. While it was fun walking in the rain, it certainly wasn't taking the MRT home in wet underwear and socks.

When I was a student

2006-08-16T01:04:00.000-07:00

When I was in Primary School,

- I used to be damn terrified of my Chinese teacher. I took extra care to make sure I have done her homework and always made sure I bring the Chinese book and files to school. But somehow, accidents always happen and I always ended up being scolded by her.

- I was the Shot Put champion in Pri 5. The following year when I was in Pri 6 I joined the same event and got last. I became the laughing stock of my classmates.

- I was in the basketball team then and we got 4th in the western zone district. Only 6 teams participated and we won only one game. There was even a medal for us.

- There were 5 of us who were always together. We called ourselves the power rangers and I was the black ranger. Lucky there were 5 of us and not 4. If not, we would have been known as ninja turtles.

- I shit in my pants when I was in Primary 1. The smell was getting stronger and stronger every minute and my classmates were asking if the smell was from me. I told them it was from my classmate who was sitting beside me and that he had shit in his pants but was too ashamed to owe up. They actually believed me.

- We used to have a buddy system when I was in Primary 1. My buddy was someone from the upper primary and he brought me to eat the char siew rice in the canteen during recess everyday. I was actually very sick of it already but was too shy and polite to say I want a change of food. I wonder how much commission the char siew auntie gave him.

- We used to be divided into houses, yellow house, green house, red house etc and there was this cute girl from another class in my house. During one of the house practice the guys were fooling around with her by pulling her hair and pinching her. I joined in the fun by throwing grass at her and she actually cried. The house teacher came and upon knowing what happened, chided me for being playful. She even set a rule that I am to distance myself from her or she will call my parents. There goes my chance of getting closer to that cute girl.

- My primary school teachers always think I am an angel and always sets a very good example to those around me. My secondary school teachers think otherwise.

- There used to be those badges for honesty, good conduct, bravery etc. I once picked up a 10 cents coin and returned it to the office. I even gave the staff my name and class so that she can announce my good deed and present me with the honesty badge. Well, that never happen. Naive me.

PS: Will post on my secondary and poly deeds in the near future. Trust me. Things only got worse.

The people that inspire me

2006-08-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

In some stages of a person's life, there are bound to have someone who appear whom you will look up to and inspire to be. This person could be a friend, a teacher, movie star or maybe even just someone whom you see on the streets. It could be his charisma or the image he portrays. It could even be the way he speaks. In most cases, it's the quality which you lack or yearn for but it exists in another person.

Me too, during some stages of my life have met people who inspire me. However in almost all cases, those are people whom I do not know and they are mainly celebrities.

Andy Lau
I was a huge fan of his when I was in Secondary School. I bought all his CDs and watched almost all of his movies. I liked him because he is extremely charming and doesn't look like he is in his forties already. His determination and will to succeed is something that sets him apart from the others. That also explains why after some 20 years in the business, he is still at the top.

I do think at times how I will look like when I turn 40. Receding hairline, thick waistline and wrinkles that stretch like the MRT lines or look something like him. At the age of 23 and I looked myself in the mirror and I feel that the former is a higher possiblility.

Zidane
This guy is moving art. From the way he strokes the football and how he moves on the field is like watching art and football combined into one. Arguably the best footballer of this generation, this Frenchman had won everything possible in the footballing world. He has the vision and skills to split any defence into two and oh, he certainly knows how to split one's chest into two too.

Chow Yuen Fatt
The epitome of charisma. He has one of the most charming smiles I have ever seen and possess all the attributes of a superstar. You should see the way he shoots the gun in his movies. It's his style that people are trying to copy and emulate even today.

Geogre Best
A former footballer who died recently at the age of 59. This guy lived the life. Football, babes, booze, parties and lots of money. What more can a man ask for?
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Some movie reviews

Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift
I have never seen part 1 nor 2 before but my friends have told me that this is a new story altogether. Despite it being a race car movie, I was quite surprised that there aren't that many race scenes compared to other movies of the same theme. It's still quite an entertaining movie to watch as it still has a decent storyline.

Ratings: 6.5/10

Click
A universal remote control that controls the universe around you. You can fast forward your life or rewind back to the past though you can't change anything of the past. But are you sure that this device has got no flaws? Unexpectedly funny and very entertaining as well.

Ratings: 7.5/10

Got car, more luck?

2006-07-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

A couple of friends and I were having supper and chit-chatting at the West Coast area when we realized a trend. Out of every 10 cars that pulled up at the parking spaces driven by a man, around 9 have girls in it (the odd one without a girl is a gay I suppose).

Furthermore all the girls who sat as passengers are mostly chio-bus. As for the guy driving the car, well.....

These rich brats have taken all the ladies. What's left for us? I don't really blame the girls. Suppose you are a girl and some guy tries to impress you, which one would you prefer?

A) Hey girl, tonight we go for dinner and then movie ok? I will pick you up down your block at 6pm.

Or:

B) Hey girl, I meet you at Orchard Mrt station at 5pm so that we can avoid the rush. Then we will have dinner and then a movie. The movie will end around 11.30pm after which we will try to take the last train home. Midnight cab too expensive liao....

If you drive a car, who cares about the midnight charge? That is perhaps why some girls always say looks doesn't matter, got car and money can liao.... Of course I am not saying all girls are materialistic but apparently guys who drive seem to have the better luck.

While these brats are busy driving the girls round, I am still debating to myself when it's the best time to go get a car license. Should I go for it when I am nearer to my ORD date? Or do it right now? But then again by the time I get a license and is able to afford a car, all the girls would have gone liao. The only way is to go one up better. Get something that is more impressive than driving a car.

I wonder how much it costs to owe a helicopter in Singapore.

Signs

2006-07-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

Signs that you are getting old

1) Kids already start to address you as uncle.
2) You prefer to listen to FM 958 rather than FM 933.
3) You look at the teenagers nowadays and shake your head.
4) You are more concerned about your bank account rather than the women on the street.
5) You talk about the fun you had in Secondary school and realise that was almost 6 years ago.
6) Your peers ask you why you so late then come in army.
7) You are no longer as active as before and feel tired easily.
8) Some of your friends are already married and some even have children already.
9) The last and perhaps the saddest or happiest depending on how you look at it, you are attending more and more weddings and funerals every year.

The woes and blues of a 50 year-old man

2006-07-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Government,

I am a 50 year old man living in the eastern part of Singapore. Recently I have been very troubled. I feel that that is a conspiracy going on targeted at men of my age.

At the recent Election, I and a few of my friends have pledged our alliance to the PAP by voting for them. The main reason for that was because of the progress package that we received. We were touched that the Government had decided to take out some money from the national treasury and RETURN a bit of it to us (take note: They return us some money. Not give us some money). The bit of money certainly helps. With the World Cup approaching, we certainly could do with some extra money for betting.

However, I realized some drastic changes after the GE. Shortly after the GE, the Government announced that with effect from 1st July, smoking will be banned in most parts of a coffeeshop. Only around 10 to 20% of a coffeeshop will be allocated as smoking area. That brings back memories of me in the ARMY around 30 years ago. It's like smoking inside a yellow box back then.

My friends and I used to hang out in a coffeeshop drinking beer and smoking, talking about everything under the sun. Nowadays, when I call them out for a beer, they usually replied,"For what? Cannot smoke leh." And he's right. With the majority of people who frequents a coffeeshop being smokers, the chances of getting one 'smokable' table is difficult. Furthermore, smoking and drinking beer comes together, very much like soya bean milk and you tiao. By taking one away, something seems amiss.

You may argue that if one wants to smoke, he or she can go inside the yellow box. But trust me, the image of 9 to 10 middle-aged uncles cramping inside a small box to smoke is a hilarious sight. It seems like being punished by a teacher in school and asked to stand outside the class.
To top things up, the Government has raised the price of cigarettes once again- from $11 to $11.20 per pack. It is certainly comforting to see the younger generation unable to afford the price of poison sticks. My 20-year-old son told me that none of his friends are smokers because of the price and of course, my son couldn't afford it too due to me cutting his pocket money so as to keep up with my expensive habit.

A pack used to cost $1 plus only back when I was young. Now it has escalated to more than 10 times the price. Quit smoking? Do you know that people actually die after quitting the poison sticks suddenly? To people like us, cigarettes are not toxic. They are our tonic.

But oh. I definitely welcome the hike in price for taxi fares. I feel that Taxi drivers deserve to get paid more. Why? Because they work for such long hours, mostly up to 12 hours per shift. Furthermore, the oil price has gone up too, increasing their financial burden. People who could afford to take a cab certainly could afford the additional 10 cents and $1 extra surcharge. So you see, I am not that type to complain about everything. When credits are due, I usually give them so keep it up. And by the way, I drive a Taxi.

And then the stricter rules imposed on a massage parlor. It's one of me and my peers' monthly highlight to visit the massage parlor. Now the rules state that there are to be no enclosed rooms and only Singaporeans, PRs and Malaysians are allowed to work in a massage parlor. My xiao-cui, xiao-hua and xiao-lian have all been deported back to China and I will miss their touches....

Slowly but surely, various forms of our entertainment have been taken away from us. I don't want to be reduced to a boring old fart sitting in a Community Centre and play chess all day long. I want my beer and fags. I want my cheap cigarettes. I want my xiao-cui, xiao-hua and xiao-lian. Please give them all back to me.

Love,
50 year-old man

Editor's note: Malmoncolo would like to stress that he is merely lending a space for this dirty old man to voice out his concerns and he has nothing to do with the contents above. After all, Malmoncolo is still a charming 23 year-old man, not a 50 year-old dirty old man.

Random mumblings

2006-07-05T23:05:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the lack of updates. For the past 2 weeks or so I have been caught in the World Cup fever and have been sleeping for less than 5 hours every night, which explains why my friends have commented that I looked like a walking zombie. My eyes only will lit up when I see the gambling odds for the day's matches and of course, lunch time.

It's getting increasingly hard to maintain a blog. Many blogs which I have been reading all this while have either announced its closure or had not been updated for a zillion years. While I have been trying pretty hard to update it once a week, however, sometimes the inspiration just doesn't come.

Of course, I am not going to close this blog down again (I did close it somewhere last October) because this blog is a store for many of my memories. And this blog also offers a place for me to write all my nonsensical bullshit like my entries on http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2006/06/real-story-of-dragon-boat-festival.html and
http://malmoncolo.blogspot.com/2005/07/romeo-and-julietalmost-true-love-story.html.
It has been great fun.

Movie Review

I watched Superman last week. To be honest, it wasn't as good as I thought. I had expected more actions as what this type of superheroes movie should have. My opinions could be biased because I was never fascinated by the Superman cartoon when I was young. He was never my hero - my type of hero will be never be one who likes to wear his underwear on the outside and it's a red one somemore.

Superman is lucky that he doesn't live in Singapore. It would have been very hard to find a telephone booth to change into his suit. With the type of various filming technologies available in a handphone, he could have been caught on video changing at one of the void decks. His video of him being caught with his pants down would have been circulated around and perhaps this time he will leave the earth for good in shame instead of coming back 5 years later as in the movie.

And also with the temperature in Singapore soaring up to 34 degrees Celsius, no man can walk around wearing an underwear beneath, a plastic suit as the first layer, another underwear on the outside and cilvillian wear concealing the suit- not even Superman himself. Before he could take off on his rescue mission, he would have died of dehydration.

In my opinion, the movie pales in terms of storyline compared to 2 other more recent superhero movies SPIDERMAN 2 and BATMAN BEGINS . However, with the recent quality of movies coming out, SUPERMAN RETURNS could just be the only movie worth watching.

Ratings: 7/10

The Good Things About The Army (?)

2006-06-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

I was very busy for the past few days because I was involved in an Ops Planning Exercise. An Ops planning Exercise is whereby several soldiers are trapped inside a meeting room from morning till late night discussing and planning for an upcoming Exercise which we are involved in. To them, it is to devise a strategy to fight against enemy ambush and how to deploy vehicles and stores to their respective locations. To me, it is fighting a losing battle against sleep and boredom.

Ops Planning exercise are a waste of time because 90% of the things you plan will never happen. Most of the things are executed to what happen on the ground itself. I was most of the time sitting by one side playing with my handphone and acting that I was listening. With all the Staff Sgts and 1st Sgts plotting and planning, the last thing you need is a small Private contributing because if you say something too constructive, you will make those big shots look stupid.

During one of the smoke breaks, a Staff Sgt came up to me and made small talk. He asked me how I felt about NS and what are the good things about it. I looked at him with big questioning eyes. Good things about NS? If you had asked me about the bad things about NS, I could have written a book about it. But good things? I went,"er....eh...good things...er...eh..."

Was I too negative? Did I fail to see some good in the bad? Why wasn't I able to answer him? I pondered this question on the way home and finally came up with some good things about the NS.

1) NS is good because they provide you with breakfast, lunch and dinner and even give you a big fat pay of $350 a month.

2) NS is good because that is where you have to learn to be independent and resourceful. Many a times your superiors can throw something to you and most of the time it's HIS problem and tell you," I don't care how you do it but you better solve this problem by today." Then you have need to crack your brains and learn how to get your resources because if you don't, it means extra guard duty and confidment.

3) NS is good because it hones your acting skills. You cannot pretend you don't know anything but you also cannot show that you know everything. Being too capable will throw you into the 'arrow army' and whenever there are any big things coming up, you will be asked to be involved everytime. You have to moderate yourself and put yourself into the category of 'I NOT BLUR BUT I ALSO NOT SO CLEVER'.

4) NS is good because you get to see all types of people. It really opens your eyes to see the type of people that exist. People that ranges from super blur cocks to those who are so clever that they know how to siam and push all the shit to you. There are also those people whom if you put their faces on the target boards in the firing range, I would have been a Marksman.

5) NS is good because you don't have to worry about what to wear. You are given 5 sets of smart uniforms that have the design of the green scenery and everyone loves the green scenery.

6) NS is good because you learn good manners. You are expected to greet every officers that come your way. Imagine 5 officers walking individually along the corridor and you happen to be there. You will have to greet them all and before long, you are even more polite than the Japanese.

7) NS is good because they bring you to go camping. They bring you to the forest and play many games with you. They play exciting games like ARTI ambush drills, trench digging and fire movement. They also bring you on a nature tour in the forest where you get to interact upclose with mosquitoes, scorpins, fire ants and many other more cute insects. During camping, they also teach you to save water because you cannot bath.

I really miss my pink IC and I am looking forward to Dec 07, my ORD date. Dec 07 will be the day where my pride and dignity will be restored.

The Fever

2006-06-12T23:48:00.000-07:00

Finally, after 4 long years, the World Cup is here again. The World Cup always generates the most excitement compared to all other major sporting events like the Olympics. Even our General Election is peanuts compared to the World Cup. Sars? Bird flu? What is it compared to the World Cup fever? Once the fever sweeps through, everything is destroyed in its path.

Look at all the commericals you see on TV now. Even those products that have no whatsoever connection with soccer are using the World Cup as a theme.Everywhere, from markets to shopping malls, coffee shops to restaurants, the posters and banners are everywhere. Anyone who doesn't know that the World Cup is taking place now ought to be shot.

Even my mother who has no interest at all in soccer came and asked me when it's going to start and who I think will win the World Cup (I told her Batam). Whether you are in the office, army camp or the MRT on the way home, you will hear people talking non-stop about it.

An auntie of mine, in a bid to see David Beckham in action, took both her young kids to a nearby coffeeshop to watch England play Paraguay. She left them at the playground right behind the coffee shop and watched the game all by herself. No wonder the crime rate is rising.

And of course, where there's soccer, there is betting. I find myself giving crash courses everyday to various people on how to bet. They will come and ask,"eh, what is call give 1/2 ball huh?" or "if I take England put 1 1/2 and they win 1-0, do I win or lose?" Even those 4-eyed nerds who seemed to only know how to study are interested. But when I told them the minimum bet at Singapore Pools was $5 they went crazy. "Huh....I thought can bet 50 cents one..." That is perhaps why nerds are nerds and why nerds will always remain as nerds.

I am not being spared neither. My dark circles are getting increasingly darker and if not for my dark complexion, I would have been mistaken for a zombie. Nothing else seems to matter anymore. I am only concerned who plays who tonight.

As for those girlfriends whose boyfriends somehow behave like Cindarella (when 9 o clock is approaching, they make excuses to leave, leaving behind not glass slippers, but a trail of Singapore Pools betting slips), you should know he is rushing home or to meet his khakis for the 9pm match.

My advice to these girlfriends is let him go. You wouldn't want a distraught boyfriend by your side, physically with you but with the heart in Germany. And you shouldn't complain too. After all, the World Cup comes only once every 4 years while your GREAT SINGAPORE SALES comes EVERY year. So there, stop whinning and let him go. Just for a month.

The Real Story of the Dragon Boat festival

2006-06-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

The Dragon Boat Festival is one of the most spectacular traditions of ancient China. It is an exciting period for rowing competitions marked by the eating of rice dumpling called "Ma Chang". In some Chinese-speaking societies, the day is also known as the "Poets' Day".

The Legend behind the Dragon Boat Festival embodies the story of love and service for one's country. About 2300 years ago, during the Warring States period, a well-respected poet and statesmen named "Qu Yuan" lived in the Chinese Kingdom of Chu and served the government with integrity as Minister of State.

He was disturbed by the corruption and by the court intrigues of many courtiers who resented his talent, popularity and sense of righteousness. One version said that other officials convinced the Emperor that Qu Yuan was corrupt, that his plea for reforms be ignored and had him banished from the Kingdom.

The beginning of the legend was correct but the latter part of it was found to be not-so-creditable. It was believed that the story had been altered and after lots of research and interviews, this below, my gullible friends, is the real story. The one which you have known since Primary School ought to be scrapped.

After being retrenched from his post in the imperial court, Xiao Yuan wandered the country sides and composed poems and auctioning them at eBay at very high prices. One of his poems even managed to fetch a price of 2 million golds, making him the top 10 richest man in the world that year.

Pic taken after the sale of his poem for 2 million
golds at his press conference.

With the money earned from the sale, plus his retrenchment money obtained from the court and his fat CPF account, Xiao Yuan stopped working and instead spent his time idling by the river side, eating rice dumpling and sunbathing. His wife, xiao-yu, gave up on him totally, calling him a fat lazy bastard.

The emperor came to know about this and slapped him with a crime of stealing gold from the Imperial Treasury. He then ordered his soldiers to capture Xiao-yuan alive. The army went down to the Mei Lo river where Xiao-yuan always frequents and found him while he was eating his dumpling. As he tried to escape, he slipped on the half-eaten dumpling and fell into the river. As the current was very strong, none of the soldiers dared to dive in to capture him.

The culprit which killed xiao yuan

The army commander reported the situation back to the Emperor and the Emperor sent his Navy troops down to the Mei Lo river. He promised to give a handsome reward of 10000 golds to whoever who can capture Xiao-yuan.

the race against time to capture
xiao yuan and of course the promised
10000 golds.

The alert wife of Xiao-yuan, xiao-yu, on learning this, hid all 2 million golds and fled before the imperial court came for her. The Emperor was of course furious that his navy troop had failed to capture Xiao-yuan. As a punishment, he made the entire Navy troop go to the same river every year and search for Xiao Yuan even though he was dead. This went on for many years and slowly became a tradition and hence the orgin of the Dragon Boat Festival.

The villiagers, on learning that their beloved hero had fallen into the river, were heart-brokened. They then proceeded to make many dumplings and threw them into the river so that xiao yuan can eat them when he is hungry.

Now, I know that the legend we know is that the dumplings were thrown into the river so that the fishes can feed on them instead of the flesh of xiao yuan. But by common sense, do you think that the fishes know how to unwrap the dumplings? Of course not! So the dumplings are definitely for Xiao-Yuan.

The food cycle
Dumplings thrown into river --> XiaoYuan eat dumpling--> Fish eat XiaoYuan-->villiagers eat fish

The wife of xiao yuan, xiao-yu fled to Korea and changed her name and started a new life. In memory of her hiding the gold from the Emperor of China, she changed her name to 藏金. It was heard that she later became the chef of the Korean Imperial Court and even studied medicine and became a doctor eventually.

大藏金--the wife of xiao yuan,
formerly known as xiao yu

Happy dragon boat festival and enjoy your dumplings.

Marriage

2006-05-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

Mother: "Eh. Your cousin getting engaged end of July leh."

Me: "Huh? Why? Accident ar? Why so careless?"

Mother: "No la. Accident your head. She and the BF together very long liao. So get engaged lor."

Me: "Oh....icic.."

Mother: "How? So many of your cousins either married or engaged liao leh. When your turn?"

Me: "Me?? You definitely won't see me getting married within the next 5 years."

Mother: "You sure or not? This kind of thing hard to say one leh."

Me: "Won't marry one la. I will only marry when I have at least a hundred thousand in my bank account."

Mother: "A hundred thousand?? You wait long long la. In that case I don't think you will ever get married liao."

Me: "Can one. When I retire at the age of 60, with my personal savings, insurance savings and CPF, plus minus should have around that amount la."

Mother: "Pls lor. You 60 years old you think got people still want to marry you meh?"

Me: "Have. I go China marry one sweet 18 year old show you."

She almost disowned me on the spot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I was around the ago of 13 or 14, I had plans to marry at the age of 26. To me, 26 years old looked to be the perfect age for marriage. However, as I grew older, I started to become more practical. How much money can one earn in 26 years?

Then I started to push back the marriage age. When I reached 18, my target was 30 years old. 30 years old should be good enough. By then, I should have saved up a decent amount of money, enough for a wife and perhaps a child or two.

Gradually as I left teenage years and into adulthood, I started to think more about life. The cycle for most people goes like this:

Study hard---> Find a gd job---> Get married---> Have children---> Work even harder for the family

And then before you know it, your whole life has flashed past you and you sat there, wasted, old and useless and thought about what you have done in your whole entire life. You looked up and saw your once beautiful wife, now fat and wrinkled, nagging non-stop at you. Your children whom you have worked so hard for, well, you don't even see much of them any more.

Haha. Ok, I am being very pessimistic here. All right. It's not really that bad. Perhaps seeing your child growing up in front of you is good reward enough. At least you have a purpose in life.
But me being one who simply loves his privacy and fun at the same time, marriage is a huge hassle.

Maybe I will enjoy myself till the age of 40 and then start to even think of marriage and having children. I shared my thought with a friend of mine and he shot back," You not scared one day you go out with your son and other people thought he your grandson ar?"

That never once crossed my mind. Already at the age of 23 and kids are calling me 'Uncle'. What will become of me when I reached 40?

Next week I will book a plane ticket to China and look for my sweet 18 yr old. It will be too late when kids start to address me as 'Ah Gong'.

That Orchard Incident

2006-05-14T23:51:00.000-07:00

I was waiting for a friend near Orchard Mrt station when I was approached by an elderly man around the age of 60.

"Ah di ar..you know how to get to Plaza Singapura or not ar?"

Me: "Take train lor. It's just 2 to 3 stops away."

He: "Aiyo, take train for what. Town area very big meh? Take train also expensive leh. We should make full use of our two legs mah."

Me: "Sorry Uncle. I really don't know how to get there by foot."

He: "Wah lau. You youngster leh. I thought you should know the whole town area by the back of your hand. Never mind la. I go ask other people. Ask you also useless." And he just shook his head and walked away.

I hope he gets lost in town.

I Not Stupid Too

2006-05-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

I rented Jack Neo's movie I not Stupid Too a couple of days ago. I like Jack Neo's movies because his movies reflects closely to our everyday's life. 'I Not Stupid Too' is a sequel to another of his hit movie 'I Not Stupid' a few years back.

'I Not Stupid Too' is about a smart boy whose talents are not appreciated by his parents. His parents are both successful people in their respective working fields and no matter how well the boy does, it's always not enough for them. Their neligence to the child eventually made him walk the wrong path.

I like the movie not totally because of the story of this boy. What I was drawn to was the backdrop of the movie where the whole class was classified as the 'rotten apples' of the school. They were not given much of a chance and were left to rot and way back in Secondary School, I was such a condemned case as well.

I was made to repeat my Secondary 3 after hardly passing any subjects except for my English and Chinese. Worse was to be followed when I failed again the following year. Failing 2 Sec 3 years was no joking matter. I faced being expelled from the school. In the end, I was to be dropped to the Normal Academic stream to take 'N' levels.

By then, almost all the teachers already knew who I am. I was the failure in their eyes. Any new teachers who came in the class will keep a look-out for me. They will go," so you are Yifan..." and shook his or her head.

I was already well condemned by some teachers even before they started to teach me. I remembered my Geography teacher in my final year when I was taking my 'O' levels. She would find the slightest excuse to chase me out of the class. When she was writing on the whiteboard and the class was noisy, she would just turn around and ask me to get out of the class. When I wanted to borrow a pen from my classmate, she would ask me not to disturb my classmate and ask me to get out. She once barked in my face," I can ensure you! You will never pass your Geography!" I got B3 eventually for my 'O' levels Geography. Not too bad from a Condemned student.

My Chinese teacher was another one. I scored an A2 for my Chinese paper in the mid-year exams. He eyed me suspiciously and asked whether I cheated or not. I remembered replying "Yah. So what?" and walked away. Although I always slept in class during his lessons, my chinese has always been not too bad all along. I was already used to such remarks already.

But of course, not all the teachers are like that. They were some who consistently encouraged me and gave me support. They even asked me never to hesitate to approach them should I have any problems. My principal would also talk to me one-on-one regularly to ensure that I am on the right track.

The best was my parents. They never once hit me nor scolded me for doing badly. My mum would always ask me to try harder and supported me in any way she could but I knew she was very hurt. My dad was equally supportive as well, which made me all the more guilty.

When the 'O' levels results was released, I was the first person in the class to receive my results. I had done pretty well compared to the rest of my peers and my principal and discipline master were already waiting by one side to congraduate me. They had already checked my results before me and knew I had done well. I was touched by that gesture and very grateful for the numerous chances they had given.

I had wanted to give it up altogether when I failed my Sec 3 the 2nd time round. I was very lucky because while I have given up, the ones beside me had not. I was 'pulled back' at the very last moment and for that I am eternally grateful. Thank you for believing I Not Stupid Too.

Interesting

2006-04-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

It was another one of our many group discussions in class as we settled round a table. A group consists of 7 to 8 men and we were given a case study to discuss which we had to present later on.

As usual, our formal discussion lasted at most 10 minutes and we started to drift off to other things irrelevant. We started to talk about games, football and etc when one of our group members shared with us something interesting.

This is the question he posed.

If you are standing on the 20th storey and you dropped a 20 cents coin down and it landed on someone's head, will it cause a crack in that person's skull?

A friendly debate started and most of us agreed that yes, it will cause a crack. The more 'scientific people' gave their explanation that when an object fell from a high point, it will start to gather momentum because of velocity and in turn turned into a force that is huge enough to kill.

The guy who posed this question then told us that this question came from a television program he saw. The television program will pose such questions and then do an experiment. And so this is how the experiment is conducted.

A 20 cent coin is inserted into a M16 and then fired towards a target board(don't ask me how they put the coin inside the machine gun, I may be a soldier but i really don't know). Anyway after the shot was fired, the experimenters went to retrieve the 20 cents coin and found that it was dented but the target board was 'unhurt'.

The experimenters then explained the logic why. Because the 20 cents coin was very light, it is not enough to cause any fatal wound and so even despite traveling at such a high speed, it is unable to cause any harm because of its weight. Instead it will be dented.

Then he asked us another one. When a person is struck in a quicksand, will he totally sink into the quicksand and die of suffocation?

The answer is no. The common misconception is that a quicksand will suck a person into the sand until you cannot see the person anymore. But that is not the case. The experiment is done using a man-made quicksand and a dummy the weight of an average human being was thrown in. Eventually the dummy was sucked in until its chest level. That is the maximum it can go.

The people then explained that people won't die because they were sucked into the quicksand. Its because after being sucked to chest level, its almost impossible to get up unless special tools were used. They died due to dehydration or hunger.

And then it was my turn to ask a question. A poly classmate asked me this a couple of years ago and until now I still don't know the answer.

The question:
Imagine you are standing in a fast moving train. Then you jump. Will you still land on the same spot from where you jump?

One classmate offered his theory. He said that if the train is moving at a constant speed of ,let's say 100 km/hr. If you jumped then, then yes, you will land on the same spot because if you are in a train traveling 100 km/hr, that means you are travelling at 100 km/hr as well. But if the train is accelerating, let's say from 50km to 100km/hr, then you will not land at the spot from you jump because when you jump, you are already not traveling the same speed as the train due to its acceleration.

I accepted his theory as I was never a good Science student. But what he says does make sense from a Scientific point of view. But if you ask me, I will also tell you that if the train is accelerating and you jump, you will not land on the same spot. Because you will collapse into a heap and make a fool out of yourself.

Discussions like these are very interesting. The only bad thing is these people make me feel so stupid and ignorant. I hate Science.

The beautiful language

2006-04-17T03:42:00.000-07:00

狼牙月伊人憔悴
我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜
惹尘埃是非

缘字诀几番轮回
你锁眉哭红颜换不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭

This is a song sang by Jay Zhou entitled 发如雪. But its not about Jay. This is written by Fang Wen Shan who is undoubtedly one of the most talented song-writers around. Just look at the beauty of the words. Tell me, can the English language do something as beautiful as this?

Chinese words to me is beautiful because they are a thousand ways to describe something unlike the English words which are quite limited. Can anyone translate the above into English? Even so, will it be as beautiful?

The Chinese culture, unfortunately is going down the slumps. Many youngsters nowadays prefer to speak English rather than embrace their own culture. There are even many Chinese who couldn't speak Chinese let alone write. Chinese don't know how to speak Chinese? Have you heard of Ang Mo who cannot speak English? Or Malays who cannot speak malay?

Is it the Western influence that is so prominent everywhere? Or is it the education? English language may be very important since it is the international language but shouldn't we emphasis the importance of knowing our own culture? This is something that belongs to us but yet we are treating it as a hassle. Many may argue that chinese words are very difficult to write compared to English. But this is OUR language.

Most younger generation don't even read the Chinese papers because they cannot understand what its writing. Its a real pity because at the rate its going, perhaps come 1000 years down the road, the chinese culture could be lost forever. It may sound a bit far-fetched but look around you, how many people can actually write proper Chinese? They may be able to in Secondary school but once graduating from there, how many still can?

There is a common misconception that the Chinese are inferior to Westerns. Even typical Aunties like my mother when shopping will go "Eeee..made in China one, don't buy better". Well, Nike products are also made in China but they are one of the biggest if not the biggest sporting company around. American brand? Superior?

When I worked part-time at Sports-link before I got enlisted, I sold shoes of a China brand. According to some of my customers who hail from China, this brand is BIG in China, like Adidas in Germany. However when other customers heard that this is a China brand, they will shun and make remarks like "I think I go inside see the American brand better". Its funny how some products despite being almost the same quality but just because of the country it hails from, can fetch a much higher price.

While I am not a huge fan of mushy love songs, Fang Wen Shan always had me enchanted with his expressing of the words. Like this below.

我给你的爱写在西元前
深埋在美索不达米亚平原
几十个世纪后出土发现
泥板上的字迹依然清晰可见

我给你的爱写在西元前
深埋在美索不达米亚平原
用楔形文字刻下了永远
那已风化千年的誓言
一切又重演

Mushy indeed but with a delicate touch of substance. Not the typical I-love-you-but-you-don't-love-me-why-like-that stuff. I honestly wonder how this piece of song/poetry can be translated into English.

Let's hope that one day the future generations will learn to appreciate the beauty of their own culture and understand where they really come from. It's a real shame not to.

The problem with JC people nowadays

2006-04-12T00:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while reading the Newpaper, I came across an article whereby a JC student was accusing Poly students of being stupid. Apparently the verbal fight came because of an online game(not sure whether its DOTA). 17 or 18 years old and still fighting over a game. Like small kids fighting over a toy.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I saw the same thing happen 'live' in front of my eyes. I was in the MRT going home when a bunch of JC students broaded the train. They were in a very heated discussion. 2 individuals especially.

This guy A accused B of cheating the night before playing DOTA. I am not too sure what its all about because I don't play DOTA. B then countered by saying A should quit the game altogether because he totally sucks. The 2 of them were then pulled apart before they could rain blows on each other. They then all alighted the following stop. By then I was already laughing my teeth off.

17 or 18 years old already. By right they are already young adults. In fact, these people are supposely the future leaders of our nation but yet fighting over something so trival. At the end of the day, its just a game, isn't it?

Sometimes I think these JC people like to argue too much. They just cannot seem to compromise. I don't understand the point of causing so many controvesary issues. They should put their talent to good use by joining the debate team. Then they will be given the proper license to argue all they want. Got prize to take somemore, why not?

For that guy who commented that Poly students are stupid in the newpaper, it goes to show his maturity and substance. Especially because he made those remarks because he was unhappy over something in his game. For god's sake, grow up!

I have no doubts that most JC students are much more hardworking than Poly students. But hardworking doesn't define your intelligence. Poly students are more streetwise and I think that is going to be more helpful in one's future path. Poly students are also more practical. Instead of arguing that much, they prefer to fight straightaway. Which is also the reason why they get into trouble more easily than others.

I think I am talking too much crap and I don't even know what I am writing. Perhaps its because I am suffering from a minor bout of depression. The reason why maybe I will publish in here someday. Think I should go get an MC. It helps to ease the depression.

Monotonous

2006-04-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

I reckon I am a very boring person. The things I do everyday has gradually become a routine. Everyday coming home from camp, I eat dinner,shower and watch some lame Taiwan variety shows. After that, I will play Championship Manager on my laptop and read at the same time until I go to bed. And I have been playing Championship Manager(a football management game) for the past ten years.

I don't play online games. Most of my peers do and I don't understand why they are so excited just talking about it. Even when I was in Poly, while all my classmates are playing counter-strike in the lab, I will be off in one corner playing my Championship Manager. I did give counter-strike a try anyway. But I knew I was crap when I was already shot dead even before I managed to fire one shot.

Some friends introduced me to Warcraft. All I did was walk round in circles not knowing where to go and what to do. They would tell me where to go and what to do but I still got lost anyway. They gave up on me soon after.

I have a PS 2 at home. I have more than over 40 games. But I seldom touch it. The only game I played was Winning 11. I didn't even bother to touch the rest of the games. I often wondered why I bought the PS2 in the first place. It looked almost like a redunctant piece of metal in my house.

Weekends are also almost the same. I would perhaps rent a movie or two. Play CM. Read. Play soccer. Watch some lame TV. EPL on saturday nights. I don't drink. I don't dance and I hate clubbing and I don't have a girlfriend.

Perhaps its time to pick up a new hobby. Or even a vice. I need some excitement. I need a life.

Back to School

2006-03-24T23:21:00.000-08:00

A feeling of Deja Vu crept in as I sat in the classroom listening as the course instructor muttered on the scope and expectations of the course. It was like going back to school again, sitting inside a classroom as the teachers go on with their lessons. I remembered telling friends how much I missed school and I somehow had my dream come true.

Earlier the week before I just passed out from BMTC and the vocation of my new posting was a supply supervisor. Bascially for the next 4 months, I will be attending the Supply Supervisor course at Sembawang. It is going to be attending classes for the next 4 months like school last time but only this time, it is definitely not as fun as school.

My lessons start from 8am and stretches until 6pm in the evening. It is a huge personal challenge to try not to sleep inside the air-con classroom. Being caught sleeping and you face the prospect of being confined during the weekends.

But still that didn't stop people from sleeping and one guy in my class even knows the art of forming spider web with his drool as he sleeps. Try visualizing a man sleeping with his head hanging downwards and his saliva hanging like a long thread from his mouth. I leave it to your imagination.

Back when I was in Poly, time flies very fast during lectures. Because when you are feeling very boring, you can always turn and beo the girls in mini skirts and low-cut tank tops from across the lecture hall. Before you know it the lesson is already over. This is the theory of 'happy time flies'.

But here, its all talks and lessons. The only thing you can stop yourself from sleeping is take down notes. The notes I have taken this past week has already surpassed all that I have taken during my poly days. But to their credit, the instructors always try to make the lesson interesting and lively (not that they always succeed).

Though it is extremely boring, but at least I can take comfort that I get to go home everyday, unlike most of my ex-platoon mates who have to stay in and go out in the sun everyday. Compared to them, I should feel lucky.

And one more thing, the slogan for my vocation is 'We serve with passion!'. I almost puked everytime I say that.

5 unforgettable/worst/fav

2006-03-19T00:05:00.000-08:00

5 unforgettable movies (in ranking)
1) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2) Crying out love from the centre of the earth (Jap)
3) I am Sam
4) GoodFellas
5) A fighter's blues (chinese movie)

5 worst movies (in ranking)
1) Blair witch 2
2) Dreamcatcher
3) Kingdom of Heaven
4) 7 swords
5) Legend of Zu

5 Fav Actors (in ranking)
1) Andy Lau
2) Tony Leung
3) Ben Stiller
4) Tom Cruise
5) Stephen Chow

5 Fav Actress
I don't have any fav actress. I think I am a gay. Oh no.

What's your favorite movies?

Sports Meet

2006-03-12T15:00:00.000-08:00

I took part in the sports meet or Games Day as they call it last week. Basically all the various companies in Tekong will come and gather at the stadium and there will be various games and every company will compete against each other. Points will be counted and the company with the highest point will win at the end of the day.

The last time I took part in such events was when I was in Primary 6. The game which I took part then was Shot Put. I ended up in the bottom 3. To think that the year before when I was in Primary 5 I was the school overall champion.

Anyway the game that I participated for the Games Day was called Bull's Eye. It was like a rally race whereby there are 8 men on each team. Each will run a distance and upon reaching a point, we have to turn 10 rounds clockwise round a wooden pole and run towards a pail of balloons whereby we have to try to throw into another pail. In short, we were all made to look like idiots.

By the end of the 10 rounds round the pole, I am already in drunken master mode. Some participants even rotated themselves into other lanes.

At the end of the game as I sat at the spectators' stand, I recalled an amusing incident when I was in primary 1 or 2. I was in the class team competing against other classes in a running rally race during our sports day. We ended up champions and the prize was a file. I didn't really fancy it very much and in fact I had my eyes set on the pencil case which is the prize for the 1st runner-up. I then went to exchange it with one of the guys in the 1st runner-up position.

When I told my mother what happened when she came to fetch me outside the school, she chided me for being so stupid because the file cost much more than the stupid pencil case. She then brought me around to look for the guy whom I exchanged the file with. Yes, she was already a very very kiasu auntie back then.

In the end we couldn't find the guy and I walked home a very unhappy boy. Perhaps now you should realize where Jack Neo got his inspiration from for his movie Homerun.

And oh, just in case you are wondering how I did in the Games Day in Bulls' Eye. Well, I suceeded in playing the clown and my company even ended up last among other 9 companies and I made a silent vow to myself never to take part in such nonsense again.

That conversation

2006-03-01T04:01:00.000-08:00

A conversation that took place on the sunny Tekong island

Recruit A:
U know the worst part in the army? It is the distance between you and your gf. I miss her so much.

Me:
Yah. Sat book out liao la...can see her soon liao...dun worry.

He:
You leh? Never miss your gf meh?

Me:
Nah. I don't have one la. So got no one to miss.

He:
Oh. Thought u have a gf. Never mind la. Still young mah. In army hard to get gf la. When you ORD you will be around 22. 22 then find gf still can la.

Me:
I'm 23 this year liao. ORD liao I already 24 to 25 liao lah.

He:
Oh. That old liao ar. Then maybe harder to find one gf la.

I felt so devastated after talking to that idiot.

When I was a small kid

2006-02-19T03:40:00.000-08:00

When I was a small kid:

- I used to think that ants are the children of cockroaches

- I thought that tigers are the female species of lions

- I used toilet rolls as bowling pins and play bowling with my basketball

- I used calendars and tear them into equal pieces and make them into fake money.
I will then simulate I am in the real world and use this money to spend on food. For example:
I will eat lunch at home and pretend it cost $3 and pay into a drawer, which is the 'bank'.

- I use the filter which is used for mopping floors and treat it as a driving wheel and I will drive
round my house.

- I hung a toy basketball hoop on my whiteboard in my room and play the roles of various NBA players and I even kept score on the whiteboard.

- I play badminton with the wall.

- I had my first nose bled and I thought I was going to die. I even demanded my mother to send me to the hospital.

- I will gather my toy sword, skipping ropes and many barang barang and keep inside a bag and walk around the house playing the role of the ancient ghost catcher. I will even use color paper to draw the 'fu'. My mother always scold me whenever I did that.

- I always turn off the TV whenever there is any love scenes.

- I used to think that army uniform are so cool and suave. Now as a NS man, I cannot wait to take it off permanently. PHUI!

She

2006-02-04T02:35:00.000-08:00

She used to carry a sling bag like a boy. She would chuckle at anything you tell her, and she would laugh so hard that she will develop stomach cramps. Her smile was one of her distinct features and she was nice to everybody and I had never seen her lose her temper.

We used to engage in shallow gossip and talked about anything under the sun. Come to think of it, there wasn't much content in our conversations. We would just rattle on and on and time would just pass like that. I would say we enjoyed each other's company very much and were pretty close.

That was almost 9 years ago.

I was surprised to run into you today. From the yester-years the girl I knew, today you are a woman. You wore heavy make-up, carries a Chanel handbag and even wore high heels. But that smile was unmistakably yours.

We settled down for a cup of coffee at the nearby StarBucks. I was astonished you are now a smoker. I could remember the days where you would frown whenever you see me holding a cigarette.

"Stress." You said.

I smiled and said nothing. After all, it has been 9 long years. A lot of things could change and happen in 9 years.

I was glad for you that you have been doing well . You have graduated from University and now working in a line which you have always shown keen interest in since the days I know you.

You took a long drag from your cigarette and your mind wandered elsewhere. There was a long silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, its just that you needed some time to arrange your thoughts. And I was ready to wait.

But the moment you started, you simply couldn't stop. We talked about the days when we were in Secondary School, to your JC days and when you were in Uni. I was mostly the listener. You were so happy while you talked about the good old days. You were almost in the state where you were already oblivious to the surroundings and you just couldn't stop talking.

But I saw something else. Those eyes. There was a look of longing, longing for something that is already long gone.

Things haven't been going too smoothly for you this couple of years.

Our topic slowly shifted to that of office politics. Betrayal, backstabbing, the quest for survival.
You have a look of weariness on your face. Even your beautiful eyelashes couldn't hide it. Then you started to splatter everything out. How you were backstabbed by your colleague. How someone who claimed to be your friend but yet was the one who inserted the final cut into your body. The unscrupulous methods people use to achieve their aims. How you already couldn't distinguish a smile from a smirk.

We were so young then. So free and innocent and nothing was too big for us. There wasn't too many things that needed worrying.

Back then, we used to joke how when we grew up , we will earn even more money than Bill Gates. How we will just travel round the world and even retire at the age of 30. You even once remarked you will open your own company and employ me and pay me $10000 a month. We were so naive.

Welcome to the reality adult world.

"Sorry. I was talking so much about myself that I forgot to ask how you were doing," you said.

I then joked about how I was one of the oldest recruit in the army at the age of 23 and all those crap that happened. I went back to my Poly days and extracted a few highlights and shared with you.

You were laughing hard and that glitter began to return to your face. A pity it only lasted a while. There was another break of silence and this time, you were very far away.

"Looks like you are still that same old Yifan I knew," you finally broke the silence. "You know, I really wish to go back to the good old days. To the days where I was still so innocent and where there was so much fun and no cruelty. I want to go back where I was totally free of worries, to the time where there was not a need to worry about my rice bowl."

There was a look of calmness and relief on your face after you vexed out your frustrations. Perhaps you have already resigned to the fact that this is just about the life you are going to lead for the next 20 years or so. Perhaps you are much stronger than I thought.

Its getting late and I walked you to the MRT. We exchanged our goodbyes and when I was about to turn and leave, you suddenly stopped me.

"You know, I really miss those days. If possible, I really want to turn back clock and go back again. Even if its just for a day,I would be very contended already," was her parting words.

I know. So do I.

Memoirs of a King Kong, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe

2006-01-29T14:00:00.000-08:00

There haven't been many good movies recently. It has been pretty disappointing because traditionally, the approaching of Chinese new year always promises many blockbuster on the cinema screens. The usual suspects were all missing this year, Jacky Chan, Stephen Chow and so on. I am already accustomed to watching their new shows during the new year every year. But not this year.

For the past 2 to 3 months or so, I have only watched three movies, a low record for an avid movie freak like me. Perhaps its the lack of time as I am only free during the weekends as the remaining of the week I will be at Tekong.

But I must say that the three movies, King Kong, Chronicles of Narnia and Memoirs of a Geisha have been pretty much of a flop in my opinion.

Watching King Kong was like watching Jurassic Park 5. King Kong VS T-Rex. King Kong VS Rest of the world. And this even goes one up better. King Kong falls in love. Perhaps its because I have never been fascinated by this big monkey when I was small and thus the lack of interest. Most people who like this movie are those who have been fascinated by him during their childhood. The first hour of the movie was a bore and there wasn't even the sight of the King Kong. The remaining 2 hours saw our hero jumping and flying here and there mainly because of the female lead. And our hero King Kong even knows how to act cute in the movie. Spare me.

Chronicles of Narnia is the small kid version of the Lord of the Ring. Children holding swords and attacking goblins or whatever you call that. A small girl chances upon an old wardrobe and enters another fairy-tale dimension and the adventure starts from there. The fighting scenes pales so much in comparsion with those ancient war movies. Of course, how much can you expect from kids? And the magic enchantment is not even a fraction of what Harry Potter provides. And wait, there are talks of a sequel or even more for this movie but you can be sure I will not be there for its sequel.

The movie Memoirs of a Geisha did so much injustice to the book. I went to watch the movie because I was totally hooked and fascinated by its book. A section mate of mine happens to have that book and after starting to read, I simply can't stop. But the movie was very disappointing. It misses so many important details which can be said was the climate of the book. The credit I can give was the acting of the 3 Geishas in the movie, Zhang Ziyi, Michelle Yeo and Gong Li. Each was pretty in their own right. The only question was why Zhang Ziyi gets laid in every movie she acts in. From Crounching tiger and hidden dragon to House of flying daggers to Hero and to today's Geisha, she gets laid. Doesn't she ever get sick of getting laid?

2 movies worth looking forward to in the next few months are The Da Vinci Code and Mission Impossible 3, both coming out in May. Hope both will be good and anyway, happy Chinese New Year.

My cute Sergeant

2006-01-22T15:31:00.000-08:00

"By the count of 5, I want everyone to disappear from my sight and run to the open field on my right! Move!" shouted my Sergeant.

The entire platoon ran like mad, knowing that if we did not do as what he said, we will be punished. However, one recruit slipped while running and had a small cut. The Sergeant ran over and examined him to see if he's ok.

"Aiyo," said the Sergeant, "who ask you to run one? See la..now fall down liao."

My Sergeant so veli the cute. I have nothing to say.

Irony
Why do almost all men claim to hate NS so much and yet everytime they met, they just can't stop talking about their NS experiences as if it is so much fun?

On leadership

2006-01-14T12:01:00.000-08:00

Wherever there is a big group, there will be problems. Wherever there are problems, there has to be a leader to stand up and try to solve the problems in a diplomatic way so that majority will be satisfied. What if all the voices start coming in together all proclaiming to be leaders?

Then you will get a much bigger problem than before.

When I was schooling, there was a big emphasis on leadership and the school will engage the so called 'experts' to come to the school to give talks encouraging students to speak up and be a leader. If a class of 40 people all turn out to be leaders, who will be the followers?

I'm afraid such education seems to have a much negative effect than postive to the students. Because most people seem to have misinterpert the actual meaning.

Many tend to believe that by having the final say, they have achieved that 'leader' badge.

Example:
A: Let's go using the left path.
B: Why left? The path on the right is also the same distance. Why not go in from the right?

Slap your balls lah. Since its the same, why not just follow? Instead time has been wasted debating the correct path to use. Most wise guys would have just go and shut up. But no, somehow some people just love to have that final say. Instead of showing yourself a leader, you just showed what a fool you are. Slap your balls again.

The leader is the one doing the most dirty work, not the one shouting off instructions and expecting people to follow while he sits down and shake his balls.

Need I say more? Slap your balls again. You honestly expect people to follow your instructions while you shake balls?

One golden rule people tend to forget. When one talks, the rest shut up. Instead you hear so many voices talking at the same time, competing who has the loudest voice around. Many ideas, many arguements. In the end, no work done. Instead, harmony is distrupted and the battle of egos starts.

To be a good leader, you have to be an even better follower.

How do you expect to gain respect when you cannot cooperate with others? How do you lead when you cannot even do well what has been expected of you? Do you think by opposing every idea and insisting on your own, you gain respect?

Of course, there will be many point of views from each individual and it is healthy to point them out. But before speaking up, one should always think carefully. Is my opinion going to help the cause? Is it really a better option? Why so?

Always back up your opinions with valid reasons. Not talk for the sake of making your presence felt.

Refreshing from those leadership courses and those so-called 'How to be a leader' books, they seemed to have miss out something very important. They have forgotten the real objective for the need to have a leader.

The main objective of a leader is to ensure that the whole operation works smoothly with minimal delay and fuss, not to be the one with the loudest voice and the final say.

Still don't understand? Never mind. Go slap your balls.

The reason for this post is because I am sick and tired of the number of voices I hear whenever something crops up. Whenever such things occur, the actual problem is seldom solved. Instead more problems began to pile up and everyone is unhappy with everyone. Nowadays, I will prefer to sit one side and wait for the arguement to end and the 'solution' to arise somehow. Its much better for my health this way.